Archive | July, 2012

Seeing My Baby For The First Time

25 Jul

Ohmygod…I saw my baby for the first time today. WHOA.

I mean, granted, it looks like a little bean, but STILL… It was amazing!

I went without my bf, because he was at a music studio recording songs and is on a timed schedule and super stressed, so i went on my own but texted him the picture afterward. He was pretty “Wowed” about it.

anyway for the first time ever, i got that gooey gel put on my stomach, which was warm (i thought it would be cold, but i guess they warmed it up?) Then LO AND BEHOLD…there it was on the screen: my tiny baby.

I felt so happy and teared up a little. Its heart beating was normal and healthy to my relief. I just thought, “Wow, its really alive.” I mean sometimes Its hard to believe im pregnant ya know?? Its hard to imagine there is a little person inside of ME…I mean seriously. what in the world?! am i being PUNKED? it seems bizarre that i can make a human being.

I do everything i can to keep myself from not staring at babies at the grocery store–they are so darn cute 🙂 By the way, i got a jar of pickles today! YES i did. Ive been so nauseous lately and all i can eat is sour, tangy, acidic food, so i figure ill give them a try. I hope i like them. Ive always liked how they crunch when people eat them. yes i know, thats a weird reason to want to like something, but hey, im pregnant…dont judge me. haha—i can use the “im pregnant” line now! i love it. heehee…

If you look inside the circle (which is the placenta i think…) you can see the baby! the baby’s head is to the left, then its little arm, its belly and a little leg below. isnt it so cute and round? awww. babies are just so precious. Im super excited!!


I Got A Call!!!

19 Jul

I got a call today from the law firm. They want me to go in to work tomorrow! How exciting is that?? Oh, I’m thrilled! YES! YES! YES! I mean, I know it still means Ill be under their watchful eye for 3 days, so I dont exactly have the job just yet, but Im still thrilled that I beat out the other people that were interviewed!

Anyway, I was looking into baby formula, and honestly P dont think I want to give baby ANY of it from what i have read—not even the organic kind. that formula crap is scary. Im going to breastfeed my baby!

I was watching TLC’s “a baby story” today and i was literally crying and getting choked up! As soon as the baby was born and crying i was imagining how amazing it is and how magical it will be when it happens to me. I cant wait. Im very bad at waiting—VERY BAD, and i wish i had a fast forward button i could press. I want to see the baby already! lol…I keep reading about my baby’s progress week by week and i find myself wishing i could do something to speed it along.

Still i know time passes by quickly—it always does! before you know it the year is over! That makes me feel better because i cant wait to see my baby’s face 🙂

The Job Interview at the Law Firm

18 Jul

My interview was a little nerve wracking…but i think overall it went well! my hopefully-soon-to-be-boss and manager  talked to me as if i had already gotten the job, training me on what lines i would answer and which ones i wouldn’t, getting me familiar with employee names, and telling me about the job benefits.

“Is there any questions?” my hopefully-soon-to-be-boss asked.

“Um….i guess I’m just wondering when you want me to come in to work?” I asked confused.

“OH…no no. We are interviewing a few more people before we make our decision,” he explained.

Woops….embarassing lol.

He said if i was the “chosen one”, they would call me in a week and have me on a 3 day trial to see how i “work out”.

keepin’ my fingers crossed.


I really would love to work for this law firm. Its small, friendly and I love a busy work day-i really do.

Even though to be honest i would give anything to be able to raise my baby for at least a year without having to work. I dont want to miss any of the mile stones! But maybe not all moms have that luxury.


Anyway, I cannot, i repeat, CANNOT get enough of cheddar cheeze-its! mygod! Im still nauseous so its hard to eat but i sure can eat those cheeze-its! I know its not “healthy” but spare me while i go through my nauseous period will ya?

I also found these great breakfast shakes by nestle carnations that have added vitamins and minerals….theyre goooood—so glad i found them.


OH i cannot wait till i get further along… My bf is getting pretty excited about the baby too. he gushes about how gorgeous she will be, and how stylish ill dress her. Im glad hes showing some enthusiasm now 🙂

My boobs are GROWING! ^_^

17 Jul

I found out i was pregnant 2 weeks ago. It was unexpected and so far only my boyfriend knows, so SHHHHHHHHH. I don’t know when ill tell my family. I’m afraid of they’re reaction because they are so traditional and my not being married wont exactly fly with them. Ill just wait a little while more….

anyway! my boobs are growing! Ive always been a b-cup (well b-aaarely) so it is SO NICE to actually have something to put into my bras now! I notice guys actually looking down at my chest now (which never happened before!) The downside: they are tender and they hurt if i lay on them. I know i cant keep them but at least i’ll know what its like to have a nice rack for a while.

I’ve been having really bad morning sickness (no throwing up though–phew…) but it makes me not want to eat anything–except for these awesome Chinese almond cookies! they seem to be the only thing i cant get enough of! Now, I’ve always loved Chinese food and recently i went to my favorite Chinese spot, and got my usual (which i swore to be the absolute best for years!) and….it just didn’t taste the same. I’ve noticed that a lot of the things i used to love to eat, i no longer do!?? I wonder how long will it be before i am eating pickles with ice cream?

I got sick a few days ago, ALMOST got a fever (scared me so bad!) but my bf quickly put a bag of frozen veggies on my forehead and that cooled me down fast. so much for prenatal vitamins! I tossed them out and went back to taking spirulina. I’ve been taking spirulina capsules for over a year now, and never got sick. It makes my immune system really strong, and that’s what i need especially now that I’m pregnant. It also has every vitamin and mineral in the world, so I know my baby will be nice and healthy. I cannot risk getting sick again! I found out that a fever can induce a miscarriage or make a baby come out autistic (gasp!) Oh hell no! I’m protecting my baby! and I’m not getting a flu-shot—no thank you. I don’t trust those shots. God knows what they put in them and don’t tell you.

I still have a light cough, so I googled what i can do to make it go away and someone said drinking apple cider vinegar takes care of a cough. I have heard of the health benefits apple cider vinegar has, and this guy said his family has been swearing on it for decades. So there i go to the grocery store.

I dont like apple cider vinegar and i think it smells worse than a decomposing body,  but i have a job interview tommorow and my unborn baby is depending on me, so i painfully put the bottle in my cart with my other groceries. Now I’m home, bracing myself before i drink some. (yes, i will definitely be pinching my nose…oh god, this should be worse than the cinnamon challenge on YouTube.)

I feel alone right now to be honest…the only “person” i can turn to for help is google. I wish i had girlfriends that i could talk to about this…but its a secret. I cant tell anyone for now.

my bf did want me to abort at first but i told him i simply couldn’t. I want to please God, and aborting a human life is not going to get me any brownie points. Besides i love kids and now i get to have my own! its exciting! I know the timing “may be wrong” but i believe things will work out. Hes currently working on songs for a meeting he has with  a big record label. I think he has a good chance at getting signed. I’ve heard his stuff and its really good. He also has friends in the oil field business, and an architecture degree to fall back on in case his music career doesn’t take off. Even if he were to have nothing, i know there’s help for pregnant women out there. Ill wing it somehow. I always have. I’m brave and I have confidence that if i put God first, he will help me. He wont take away life’s difficulties but he will provide relief.

I’m focused on the excitement of being a mommy and seeing the precious face of my baby for the first time. I know, I know, Im only one month pregnant, and it might be early but i cant help being excited. I am making a real life baby inside me! WOW!

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