My boobs are GROWING! ^_^

17 Jul

I found out i was pregnant 2 weeks ago. It was unexpected and so far only my boyfriend knows, so SHHHHHHHHH. I don’t know when ill tell my family. I’m afraid of they’re reaction because they are so traditional and my not being married wont exactly fly with them. Ill just wait a little while more….

anyway! my boobs are growing! Ive always been a b-cup (well b-aaarely) so it is SO NICE to actually have something to put into my bras now! I notice guys actually looking down at my chest now (which never happened before!) The downside: they are tender and they hurt if i lay on them. I know i cant keep them but at least i’ll know what its like to have a nice rack for a while.

I’ve been having really bad morning sickness (no throwing up though–phew…) but it makes me not want to eat anything–except for these awesome Chinese almond cookies! they seem to be the only thing i cant get enough of! Now, I’ve always loved Chinese food and recently i went to my favorite Chinese spot, and got my usual (which i swore to be the absolute best for years!) and….it just didn’t taste the same. I’ve noticed that a lot of the things i used to love to eat, i no longer do!?? I wonder how long will it be before i am eating pickles with ice cream?

I got sick a few days ago, ALMOST got a fever (scared me so bad!) but my bf quickly put a bag of frozen veggies on my forehead and that cooled me down fast. so much for prenatal vitamins! I tossed them out and went back to taking spirulina. I’ve been taking spirulina capsules for over a year now, and never got sick. It makes my immune system really strong, and that’s what i need especially now that I’m pregnant. It also has every vitamin and mineral in the world, so I know my baby will be nice and healthy. I cannot risk getting sick again! I found out that a fever can induce a miscarriage or make a baby come out autistic (gasp!) Oh hell no! I’m protecting my baby! and I’m not getting a flu-shot—no thank you. I don’t trust those shots. God knows what they put in them and don’t tell you.

I still have a light cough, so I googled what i can do to make it go away and someone said drinking apple cider vinegar takes care of a cough. I have heard of the health benefits apple cider vinegar has, and this guy said his family has been swearing on it for decades. So there i go to the grocery store.

I dont like apple cider vinegar and i think it smells worse than a decomposing body,  but i have a job interview tommorow and my unborn baby is depending on me, so i painfully put the bottle in my cart with my other groceries. Now I’m home, bracing myself before i drink some. (yes, i will definitely be pinching my nose…oh god, this should be worse than the cinnamon challenge on YouTube.)

I feel alone right now to be honest…the only “person” i can turn to for help is google. I wish i had girlfriends that i could talk to about this…but its a secret. I cant tell anyone for now.

my bf did want me to abort at first but i told him i simply couldn’t. I want to please God, and aborting a human life is not going to get me any brownie points. Besides i love kids and now i get to have my own! its exciting! I know the timing “may be wrong” but i believe things will work out. Hes currently working on songs for a meeting he has with  a big record label. I think he has a good chance at getting signed. I’ve heard his stuff and its really good. He also has friends in the oil field business, and an architecture degree to fall back on in case his music career doesn’t take off. Even if he were to have nothing, i know there’s help for pregnant women out there. Ill wing it somehow. I always have. I’m brave and I have confidence that if i put God first, he will help me. He wont take away life’s difficulties but he will provide relief.

I’m focused on the excitement of being a mommy and seeing the precious face of my baby for the first time. I know, I know, Im only one month pregnant, and it might be early but i cant help being excited. I am making a real life baby inside me! WOW!

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