Breaking Up is Hard To Do

9 Aug


Did i love him? yes, I still do.

*deep sigh

but there’s just some things you have to let go of…

He has commitment issues and trust issues. I didnt know about these issues until later….so surprise lol! *sigh

He would cook for me, give me back rubs, run his hands through my hair while i slept, buy me gifts, and send me the cutest text messages. He did alot of nice things, and he was really sweet to me…

but a girl can only take so many break-ups after make-ups!

So while it saddens me to have to go through my pregnancy alone, and raise my baby without its father, I just think its the best decision for me, since living a life of breaking up and making up every 5 seconds is just too hard.


I joined a secret Facebook pregnancy club for pregnant ladies delivering in the same month as me—and surprisingly quite a few have been miscarrying and leaving lately! 0_0

Life is so scary being pregnant and alone…sometimes i almost wish i accidently have a miscarriage. I feel SO bad for thinking that but i just get sooooo scared doing it alone sometimes. I wonder how im going to survive alone with a baby, especially since i have absolutely NO HELP from friends or family. Im in a new city, and im all alone. I tell myself it will all work out, and sometimes i beleive it. its better than thinking that it wont.

And then theres the pending conversation with my boss about my pregnancy (which i am trying to do and HAVE TO do very soon but am terrified to do) and the pregnancy leave, and hoping i still have a job after the baby is born. its just hard sometimes…but i do want my baby. I really do. and my baby’s daddy and i are on good terms-he promises to send me some money for the baby when its born.

I think I feel the baby move sometimes but they say it could just be gas….but its weird, because if i press my hand down on my stomach, I could feel  something fluttering againts my palm almost as if raising up to meet my palm. They say it IS possible to feel the baby at 10-12 weeks. so my baby is probably no where near miscarrying–i think theres a strong little karate champ in there 😉


4 Responses to “Breaking Up is Hard To Do”

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  3. inferno1992 August 20, 2012 at 2:41 am #

    Hang in there:) Your hardest moments are when you find out your stronger than you think and I remember having just as many mixed emotions when my pregnancy started. Ive always wanted my baby and i know how blessed i am to be at 36 weeks but in the beginning it was definitely a little strange lol but youll adjust! And i hope everything works out for u guys:)

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