He asked me to marry him

11 Aug

*sigh…

The other night my baby’s daddy asked me to marry him. over text. He said he would get the ring soon. I hadn’t even said yes. I still havent said yes or no, but hes determined to marry me one way or the other. He knows I would only give him a second chance if he proves hes serious, and well whats more serious than marriage right? But Im not even sure thats what i want anymore…

On one hand I would love to be married, have a baby and start a little family together. I would love to not have to worry about what I’m going to do after the baby is born (Im not in the best financial situation.) I would love to tell my parents Im married, and not having the baby out of wedlock, and I would love to have him as my husband…if it werent for his trust issues.

Hes in NY right now, meeting music executives and record labels, trying to get his music career to jump off. I really dont know whats going to happen in my ever-so-unpredictable life…I have absolutely no idea and it terrifies me.

The worst thing is I LOVE HIM…and I want to be with him, and be married to him, but i cant give him another chance anymore. Im so afraid he’ll let his commitment phobia cave in and break things off again. An engagement is just a promise…and i dont trust him anymore 😥

As if that wasnt bad enough, The girls on the facebook group i joined are now mad at me for uploading pictures of food, saying it made their nausea even worse, and being rude to me because theyre newsfeeds were filled with my pictures thinking i was doing it, but its done automatically when someone comments on a picture. The pictures were taken down by the administrator, and i sent out a public apology. I dont feel like going back into that birthing group anymore  because i dont feel very welcome there. It made me feel sad, and honestly hurt my feelings when i read the things they wrote about me. Well, I guess i really am all alone in this pregnancy now…Im so deppressed. Geez louise.

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2 Responses to “He asked me to marry him”

  1. Alex Jones August 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    Facebook is overrated, I no longer bother with Facebook.

    People can be quite happy in a relationship without marriage.

  2. peachyteachy September 8, 2012 at 11:06 am #

    Hang in there and trust your intuition! Thanks for the follow on my blog!

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