Will I Ever Stop Being Shocked??

20 Oct

Im getting more and more excited about this baby. Sometimes I cant sleep at night. All i THINK is “BABY BABY BABY”. Its like knowing youre about to win the lottery in a few months. Would you be able to sleep at night? EXACTLY.

Of course I know I KNOW…changing poopy diapers isnt exactly like winning the lottery.

BUT. having a baby is just….sooooooo….exciting!!!!

I almost cant beleive it. I look at my belly and tell myself, “There is a baby in there.” I repeat it to myself in disbelief a few times. I am 5 months pregnant and I still cannot believe this has happened to me. I’m just so shocked still. will that ever go away?? I’ll probably be at my daughters high school graduation and still be shocked. I really find it odd how I had sex and now there’s a little person inside my stomach kicking me. WHAT THE HELL…? O_O

I have to record my face next time I feel it kick me. Its like the face you would probably make while watching an episode of “Ripleys beleive it or not.” except its a happy freaked out face. which is insane. which is why i must record it.

Something Ive wondered about lately is what the hell did I think about before I was pregnant. What was important to me back then?? Because the only thing thats important to me now is my baby and ANYTHING baby related. I thought hard while I brushed my teeth in the morning.

ohhhhh…then it came back to me.

All my hobbies of course!—Fashion, photography, cooking, drawing, reading, writting, dancing, working out, researching good health remedies, decorating, painting, and movies. OK, so I had quite alot of things that were important to me.

Which they still are, but Ive just noticed they’re not all I think about anymore.

Instead of only being subscribed to fashion and beauty gurus on youtube, Im now also subscribed to a million moms-to-be or mommy Vlogs. I watch an insane amount of birthing videos, and I love watching videos of newborn babies.

I have made a list of my birth plan as well as what I will take in my hospital bags, and Ive also finished my baby shower gift list, plus party details. I also made a daily to do list, and a list of the things I need to buy to decorate my soon to be shared room with the baby. YES I AM A LIST PERSON. my brain would freeze and die if I didnt have a notepad and pens.

And you read that correctly. HOSPITAL BAGS. I will be packing 3 and taking an empty gym bag for all the hospital goodies they give you to take home. One bag will be filled with 5 chlorophyll alkaline water bottles (for energy during labor) apples, bananas, and energy bars (for after labor.) Another bag will have all my clothes, toiletries, and babies clothes. The 3rd bag will have my pillow, baby blanket, towel, magazines, cellphone, camera, chargers, wallet, and gifts for my doctor and nurses. Im thinking Ill get them boxes of chocolate with  a little bow on top from SEE’s CANDY.

I got weighed the other day at my doctors, and I’ve only gained 10 pounds! Alrriiiight! happy happy joy joy!! My fear is being obese after I deliver. Of course I dont starve myself-that would be stupid. I just eat mostly fruits, nuts, and veggies, and drink lots of water. every now and then Ill give myself the green light to eat something forbidden, like mashed potatoes. I LOVE MASHED POTATOES!! Ok…Im getting very hungry now. When I say I give myself the green light every now and then…I kind of mean at least a few times a week lol. as long as its in small portions. so far its worked for me.

My next doctors appointment is on the 25th of October. I will be changing doctors. I didnt like the doctor that gave me my pap smear. She was weird and awkward. So I asked who else they had, and the front desk nurse recommended Dr.Garcia saying, “He’s the man!” She said her daughter recently got pregnant and thats who she recommended her daughter as well. Im so glad I asked her. I’ll feel alot better knowing my doctor is “THE MAN.”

Well Im off to get me some hashbrowns from Denny’s. I’ll leave you with some pictures =)


My 21 week update pic:


One day it’ll be my baby looking up at me 😉 !!



Room Idea for my future shared room with my little girl:


What I think my baby will look like when she’s born:

Its only a guess (Im super light skinned and my Ex is black) so we’ll see 😉



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