Archive | March, 2013

Bed time stories with a twist of crazy

30 Mar

I’ve been a story teller for all my little brothers, nefus and cousins for as long as i can remember. Now, mind you its not anything serious or proffesional. In fact, its anything but serious or proffesional. but hey, its kids dont like serious or proffesional stuff anyway. (WARNING: some parts are a bit gruesome, but my audience has always been little boys, and boys love this stuff.)

The following is a story I made up for my two nefu’s tonight:

Once upon a time there was a small house that sat right on top of a very steep hill. No one ever went up there because rumor had it that it was haunted.

BUT IT WASNT.

One day a boy named Joseph decided to go up there and when he peeked through one of the windows he saw a huge party going on inside!! There were tons of people dancing, and millions of balloons everywhere!! People were eating tons of cakes, candy, and soda!

“It’s NOT haunted…” Joseph realized. “I bet they made everyone think that so no one would come and crash these cool parties!”

So Joseph decided to knock on the door and see if they would let him in.

They opened the door, and were like, “Whats up man! come in bro’! have some cake!”

So Joseph ate and partied and had the best time of his LIFE!

–That is until the food made everyone sick.

Suddenly everyone was running around throwing up everywhere!!

But Joseph was the sickest out of everyone–he was even throwing up through his EARS!

So someone called 911 for him.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“Uh, yes hi. we have a really sick boy at the house here on elderberry street and we need you to come quick!”

“–wait. did you say…elderberry street? do you mean 301 Elderberry street??!”

“Yes, please come quick!”

at that moment the 911 operator knew they were talking about the haunted house and she was like, “Oh hells no!” and hung up, got on her knees and prayed.

She was positive a ghost had called her.

so unfortunately no ambulance went up to help Joseph, and Joseph was getting worse !

everyone gathered around him and started saying their goodbyes to Joseph, “Goodbye Joseph! Goodbye!” when suddenly an eagle came flying down from the sky and broke through one of the windows and started circling on top of Josephs body.

–you guys remember the Lion King right? the part where simba was about to die and there were seagulls or something flying above him?– Ok, well this was something like that. except this eagle thought Joseph was dead already and wanted to EAT him!

The eagle started to poke at Joseph with its sharp beak. So everyone ran around finding things to throw at the eagle to get him off Joseph. they hit him with broom sticks and threw irons at him.

Then Joseph opened his eyes a little, and when he saw how everyone was coming to his defense, it gave him a strength he didnt know he had. in fact…it was almost like he had a super power! He got up and started fighting the eagle on his on as everyone stood back and watched.

You wouldnt beleive it…but Joseph ended up breaking the eagles neck in half and killing it!

— nefu interrupts my story to ask, “Isnt killing eagles illegal?”–

Exactly. thats why Joseph ended up going to jail. but ill get to that in a second.

So, right after Joseph broke the eagles neck, there was silence in the room, and then suddenly everyone started clapping  louder and louder–there was so much excitement in the room. people were whistling and saying things like “YEeeeeeah!!!” and “ALRIGHT JOSEPH!!!”

but as you all know, killing an eagle IS illegal so soon after all that excitement everyone heard police sirens right outside the house — the cops were there to take Joseph away.

Now you might wonder why the cops went up to the house despite the haunted house rumors right? well the thing is they were there last year for a party so they knew it wasnt haunted.

–nefu interrupts again. “I thought they went up there because cops are brave…”–

OH. well…yes! of course. it was also because they were so brave. In fact they were some of the bravest cops EVER.

So anyway, Joseph ended up going to jail–for about 13 years, in which time he learned to knit sweaters and sell them on Ebay.

But he went on to be a great legend and everyone talked about him for years.

The End.

“Okay, now close your eyes and go to sleep.”

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Moving Back in With My Parents

28 Mar

This past saturday me and my sister were supposed to go to the mall to get my baby girls ears pierced (my sister wants to buy her her first pair of earrings–how sweet!) BUT…

I ended up moving. it was kind of unexpected. my dad and brother came by my place with a u-haul truck early saturday morning and helped move all my stuff to my parents house. I knew i would eventually move up to my parents house, i just didnt know it would be so soon.

Anyway I got my brothers old room which i had painted in blue stripes a few years ago. its a little boy-ish but i really dont have the time to re-paint it so im just going to have to get used to a blue room. at least the colors are soothing 🙂

being back home is AWESOME.

my mom is helping me with Layla so much–she loves to burp her for me, hold her for me, bathe her for me, ect. shes such a great grandma. and her cooking…oh man. i wish everyone had a mother who cooked like mine. seriously. Its like having a five star chef in your home.

My dad is so happy to have his grand daughter around. it really seems to make his day to see her when he gets home from work. Im so glad that my little girl is so loved and accepted.

waking up and seeing her little face in the mornings makes me so happy. I cant beleive i made such a precious thing in my belly! I used to think it was weird when i would see moms laughing at any little thing their babies did, and now i understand it. Layla doesnt have to do much to make me laugh with absolute giddy joy. She makes me HAPPY. in fact im happier now than ive ever been.

 

 

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*sigh. I love her so much =)

How being a mother changed me

14 Mar

I always heard other mothers say it, and I shrugged and wondered about that mysterious element of motherhood that changed women.

And then it happened to me.

suddenly I became a MUCH better driver (and i was a really crappy driver before ill have you know — ive driven on the wrong side of the road, almost ran over pedestrians, byclists, and mothers with babies, ran red lights, couldnt parallel park to save my life, made U-turns in prohibited areas, changed lanes suddenly without warning, and the list goes on. in case youre wondering, i did all that absentmindedly, hence the term “crappy driver” and not “bad to the bone driver”. Then again a part of me did feel bad to the bone when i would drive 100 mph just for fun (SERIOUSLY slap me. could there be anything more immature and stupid? I was 20 yrs old then and loved to burn tires anytime i was leaving a parking lot.) but alas, i have changed. Now I drive like im the chauffeur to an english royal. my too fast too furious days are a thing of the past.

Motherhood has changed me.

I have become waaay more interested in saving money than spending it. im finally becoming the financially responsible person all parents can be proud of! Ive always paid my bills, dont get me wrong, but i never actually saved any of my money.

The mall was always so alluring, and so were the by-weekly manicures.

now, all of that just doesnt seem as important as having money stocked away. yes, new stilletos and skinny jeans sound awesome but mOh-ney in the bank sounds even better! Its official:  My view on money has gotten a face lift.

 

Now, ive always appreciated my parents, but now, I REALLY appreciate them. its weird how motherhood will do that to you. Or who knows, it might be my specific situation. Ive never needed my parents more than i do now, and they have been absolutely wonderful, going above and beyond for me and my daughter.

by the way I will be moving back to my parents house soon. my dad wants me to be up there with them so my mom can help me out more. I really cant say no to the extra help (being a new mom is exhausting!) and I also dont mind living with my parents, as strange as that sounds. I love my parents, and I love living up in the country. some people hate the country life along with its “country bumpkins” but i find something so charming about it all. everyone knows everyone, and people are genuine. but what i like the most is that it feels like home. 

I also managed to get my car back last month right before my baby girl was born (yay!!) my family pitched in to help me get the money i needed. Im also getting disability and ill have it until June, which means I can stay home with my baby for at least two to three more months. ***I feel extremely blessed to be able to stay home with her.***

Even on days when i feel disgusting because i havent been able to shower, my hair is a knotted bun of greasiness, i have spit up on my shirt, and havent slept more than an hour or two, Im hungry and tired of eating granola bars, and i just want a break…I still look over at Layla and feel deep love for her.

I love her little giggle. I love how she stares at me and then fake cries with her arms extended up so i can carry her. shes such a smart little thing. I love her little side dimple, and how she cradles in my arm when i feed her.

I think about her dad every day. I wonder if he thinks about us. I wonder what his reaction would be like if he met her. He  emailed me recently asking about my due date. Hes emailed me about once every month since we broke up. Ive never answered back. Its hard, but I feel like I owe it to Layla to protect her. He threatened to take her away from me several times, and ever since, I just cant trust him with her.  It makes me sad though. I wish things were different but im not going to try to fit a circle into a square.

 

As far as love goes…the only love for me is my daughter. I dont see myself falling in love ever again. Layla is the queen of my heart.

 

 

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