Archive | May, 2013

A Ring For My Mother

28 May

Im not dead but my phone is. I accidentally dropped it this weekend…it cracked, the screen doesn’t work, therefore I am declaring my phone dead….it took horrible pictures. I will not miss it.

 

Life has been CRAZY busy lately…..I love blogging, I just wish I had more time—seriously!

Just wanted to make a quick post to say that baby Layla has started alot of first’s in the past few days!! The one that really gets me is yesterdays–she started to giggle!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! it was ahh-DO-rable…*loud sigh. I love my baby =) Shes 3.5 months now.

This weekend is our first family reunion at my parents house (yes, we’ve never had one before. like ever.) my dad said we should have one before someone dies. eh. thats a good reason.

There is SO much were doing to our house to get it in tip top shape, as well as the landscaping. Its stressful but I think everything will look nice by this saturday. fingers crossed.

my dad is going to surprise my mom with a ring this saturday. She lost her wedding ring, and has wanted a new one for a while now. so he wants to get her one. I had to be sneaky and figure out her ring size. she doesnt suspect anything as of yet. I also want to go with my dad to help pick it out, since my mom is very picky about that kind of stuff.

I got this idea…..hopefully my dad likes it. We buy a broom, wrap it up in a box, and have my mom open it at the reunion in front of all our family. As soon as she sees what it is, her face will be priceless, but then my dad will come in with the real present, and everyone will laugh, and “ooh” and “ahh” over the ring.  what do you think?

Ok, well I gotta run and get ready for work, because me and my little one have to make that mula! hopefully Ill be able to blog again soon because I have words dying to pour outta me! who needs a shrink when you have a blog right?? haha, talk to you soon.

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my progress 3.5 weeks after having Layla. I dont diet or exercise, but I do breastfeed.

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Layla doing tummy time on my desk.

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she is SUCH a grandpas girl 😉

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this is how we work sometimes (no joke)

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my happy girl!!

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the love of my life.

 

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Im So Happy ^_^

12 May

Lately I’ve noticed that Im usually happy for no reason in particular. Im just really happy…and its ODD.

I mean, you’d think I was in-love or something. I dance around the kitchen and feel happy to hear the birds chirping outside. When I ask myself why Im so happy Im a little stumped.

I think Layla brings a WHOLE CHUNK of happiness into my life. I never knew a baby could do that. I guess thats why some people want kids so bad? hmm I dont know, but she sure makes me laugh and smile with joy every day.

Im also happy that Im doing financially well again. Thats a big one. Being a single mom, I know I could have it so much harder, but thanks to my dad Im able to save on rent, utilities, food and daycare. The only thing I buy is diapers. My dad even bought me a huge box of baby wipes during his last trip to Costco (I’ll be good for a few months with that huge box!) He said next time he’ll get me a big pack of batteries for the baby swings (I keep one at the office and one at home.)

I feel a HUGE weight off my shoulders thanks to my dad. Thanks to him me and my little girl are ok. That is a big part of my happiness I think. I mean, I couldn’t imagine being happy if I was still struggling the way I was before.

Well today my little chunkster is 12 weeks old! She has started teething so I ordered the amber necklace off amazon (I got the honey one) and I also ordered the hyland homeopathic teething tablets. Both things have great reviews so Im crossing my fingers.

I LOVE bonnets with matching dresses! I got her this one at TJ Maxx.

My friend saw Layla today and said she loved her little dress, and I quickly raised it up and said, “And she has the matching underwear too!” My friend started laughing and said, “Right, because when our underwear matches we have to raise our dress and show everyone !” She pretended to raise her dress jokingly. We both started laughing — she cracks me up. She doesn’t have any kids and she used to say she didn’t like kids (I used to say I didn’t want kids) but now I have one and shes always carrying my friends baby or mine and she changes poop explosions with no problem (she seriously would be a great nurse!) Funny how things change sometimes.

With Layla getting bigger and all I decided I needed to start looking for a Jumperoo for her. Well guess what? I found one on craigslist for such a great deal!! Its the rain forest jumperoo. Its $100 at Wal-mart. Im getting it for $35. Its clean, nothings broken or missing, and its gently used. SCORE.

Maybe some parents feel weird about getting anything used for there kids and thats ok if you have the money to buy everything new. But I dont mind doing a little washing and disinfecting. Honestly I think having a baby doesn’t have to be expensive. I think its just up to the parent, and how much they’re willing to spend.

They tell me kids get more expensive as they grow older. particularly when they learn to talk and ask for things. And when they play on their knees, and rip their jeans and scuff their shoes. I know I will buy Layla lots of clothes and toys but I’ll just do it the way I’ve been doing it: I buy things on clearance or at bargain prices.

Well, Its Sunday and I have alot of mommy duties calling my name. Have a great great Sunday wherever you’re at! ^_^

EMBARRASSING MOMENT

11 May

The firefighters came to my house yesterday.

A neighbor must have called and told them something was burning.

I live up on a hill, and my uncle (whos more of a grandpa to me) was burning a ton of wood in the deep pit outside which sent up alarming amounts of smoke in the air.

I was peacefully breastfeeding my baby in my room when my mom rushes in and nervously exclaimed, “They’re here!!”

I got up quickly and worriedly asked, “Whos here??!”

“The fire fighters! Hurry, go out there! Theyre talking to your uncle!”

My uncle doesnt speak much english, but that doesnt stop him from making large hand gestures and making spanish words sound english-y. He’s quite a character. Although he is amusing to watch, I feared the firefighters would lose their patience with him.

I ran out there before I realized the tight black top I was wearing was completely SEE THROUGH. And I was wearing a pink bra underneath!

UM….can you say EMBARRASSING??

As I stood there next to the fire fighters I dared not to look down and see just how see through everything looked. I could feel the sun hitting me brightly with its rays of sunshine, surely exposing my see through top even more but i refused to think that they were all looking at my pink bra.

I noticed little smiles though on the fire fighters faces, and one fire fighter who sat in their big red truck kept looking over excitedly, until he finally got off and joined the others around me. I wondered why he looked so excited. Then I told myself not to answer that.

They asked me what we were doing with the smoke and the pit. When I explained we were going to use it to cook goats meat, they said it was ok, but we would need to put the grill on it, otherwise its illegal burning. I told my uncle he needed to put the grill on it, and he said he would…after the wood finished burning. They told me he needed to put it on the pit right away. My uncle said he would! he would! ….as soon as the wood finished burning. 

“Ok, I’m going to tell you to tell your uncle like this: Put the grill on it now or we’ll have to give you a ticket.”

As soon as I told my uncle that, he quickly said, “Oh yes! Lets put the grill on it right now!”

The tall lanky fire fighter looked at me and said everything was fine now, and just asked for names, and the address of our home for record purposes. Then he apologized and said he didnt mean to be a “hard ass”, he just had to come up and make sure everything was ok. He seemed to feel bad that I might think he had been a “hard ass.” The other fire fighter quickly came over, and assured me we weren’t in trouble or anything. Then they played with my little Maltese dog who was lapping up the attention. I just wanted to know everything was fine and run back inside.

I had never felt more embarrassed in my life!! well wait. there was the time I wore a tight white dress with rainbow heart underwear, and I had no idea the dress was see through. yup. that was embarrassing….

Candice is my favorite!!

9 May

Watching American Idol is my guilty pleasure. Ice cream is my next guilty pleasure. (I looooove ice cream. preferably Dreyer’s mint chocolate chip frozen yogurt.) I gotta kick this habit though when I start getting back into  shape but for now Im giving myself a little break. I really feel like going into yogurt land soon…like tomorrow after work. or maybe Ill send my brother to get me some during his lunch break. wait. that wont be fun. I want to pick the toppings and stuff. I’ll go.

Anyway, tonights American Idol was pretty awesome!

I was shocked that Nicki got emotional a few times and almost couldn’t talk. I had never seen her like that. I kept turning over to my brother like “are you seeing this??” It was just odd I guess because Im used to her being a wanna-be-simon on the show.

I loved watching the footage of Candice visiting her home town. It seriously made me tear up!! OHMYGOD…Its like I was feeling everything she was. All the people that came out to see her and show her love was just amazing. I mean…wow, it was  like a bazillion people. no joke. very over whelming just watching it from my TV! and she is still just so down to earth and gracious. I just love Candice. I think shes such a great person.

I love her smile—Shes so pretty! 🙂

I thought it was pretty hysterical when she mimicked Ryan Seacrest as he told everyone what numbers to dial to vote for Candice. Shes usually so serious so that was unexpected. Ryan is usually really good with improvising, but that seemed to catch him off guard just a little haha.

ALL 3 songs she performed tonight were amaaaaaaazing….I mean AMAZING. The last song blew the judges away. there eyes were the size of marbles! She doesn’t even seem like an amateur anymore. It feels like you’re at her sold out concert already. I have alot of respect for her.

I didn’t have a favorite until tonight. Candice is now my fave, plus i can totally see myself listening to her music. Sorry Angie but I really think Candice is going to take the prize home. I can feel it.  

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Layla watching American Idol with me

Layla was watching American Idol with me!

My little love bug..

Im Worried

8 May

My mom is sick. She thinks she might have leukemia.

I dont want her to be sick…shes not supposed to be sick. Shes supposed to be healthy and live a long time. This is isnt suppose to happen.

She even talks about her dying. It makes me mad. WHY is she talking about death like shes giving up? Why would she just t hrow in the towel so soon?? I dont know what to do to help her. I feel frustrated.

Onto other news, my dad is hiring someone to put down tile flooring in our house. He wants it done before next month because next month hes planning a family reunion at our house. That’ll be fun. We’ve never had a family reunion. I cant wait 🙂 !

But it means this will be a busy busy month for me since I have less than 30 days to make this a reunion everyone will remember. I live for the small details 😉

Im off to go fold laundry. and get some sleep. I swear I dont know how I function with the little sleep I get. taking care of a baby and working a job is hard. I just push myself mentally to keep going. I do it for my precious pumpkin. Gotta take care of her, and make that money.

Ex boyfriends…

7 May

I had a boyfriend a couple years ago who broke my heart. No he did not cheat on me. He did however play with my feelings.

He’s the only guy who’s ever broke my heart, and when he broke it, I mean he shattered it. that bastard.

I will spare you the story of how I was depressed for a year, cried, had anger bouts, dressed in black and turned emo because of him. Stupid I know.

 

 

I learned my lesson though…I never fell in love like that again. I’ve loved after that but I have never let myself fall-in love like that again. Its like bungee jumping and not knowing if the rope is secure.

Anyway, years passed by without hearing a word from him. Then one day out of the blue he e-mailed me.

That Devil had the decency to e-mail me.

He wanted to apologize. He wanted to apologize… *narrows eyes then chuckles to self*

I had wanted to hear those two words for a long time. Then I didn’t care anymore–I was over it, and I was healed already, but it still felt nice to hear an apology. 

Then he wanted to get back together. I said no. Hell’s no. He was persistent.  He talked about how well his business was doing, the luxurious car he was driving, how he would never meet a girl like me again, called me all the sweetest nick names he could think of, and took all my insults very graciously.

He tried to get me to think of all the nice moments we had together and i would just say I couldn’t remember any of them. “Oh. but I do remember the times you made me cry 🙂 !” I rubbed it in his face until he couldn’t take it anymore and begged me to stop.

He tried to seduce me with a shirtless pic of his six pack and I would reply with “ewww…put a shirt on.” I was basically a bitch to him. He said that made him like me even more.

I even told him I wouldn’t visit him if he was dying of cancer. he was still persistent after that.

Finally I cut him off from contacting me ever again. I deleted my facebook, changed my number and blocked his email.

2 years later…

He tells my little brother to tell me he says hi, along with some compliments. I could tell in his messages to my brother that he wants to open communication lines with me again. and it was pretty bold of him to contact my brother when he’s never even spoke to my brother before. I could only think one thing: Hes trying too hard.

I cant help but roll my eyes and shake my head. seriously??? Why is he reaching out to me? we did not end well, need i remind him? we are not friends. 

I find it amusing that i suffered a massive heart break over him and years later hes still thinking of me. Who would’ve ever thought?? If someone would’ve told me this would happen then, I wouldn’t have believed it.

I would never give him a second chance though because I honestly dont think he’s changed or ever will change. Im not about to take a chance and figure out he’s the same person. fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

It makes me smile though and walk with a pep in my step when I think of the saying “what goes around comes around.”

It sure does.

 

Taking My Baby To Work!

5 May

I started working for my dad this week. I LOVE taking little Layla with me to work. They’ve nicknamed her the “mini secretary”. But my dad jokingly says hes not going to pay her if she sleeps all day. Dont let that fool you though…even though she does nap alot, I still have to juggle changing her diaper multiple times, cleaning up her spit ups, and her feedings all in between office work. I also get around 6 hours of sleep on average. Its a little hard sometimes but Im just so grateful that I get to take her with me to work so I just try not to think about me.

My sister and little Layla hard at work 😉

My sister was surprised at how quickly I learned how to use their new computer program–So her and my brother decided to make me the new RO writer. Basically Ill be typing out the sales invoice and charging customers on top of my other duties. My sister told me my brother and dad had recently thought of hiring a “hot girl” to be the RO writer so customers wont argue the price. So I guess I should wear my hair down and sexy, wear heels, and use my woman power? at least my boobs are big right now because Im breastfeeding..maybe that’ll help.

My dad has been saying he wants to open a shoe store. I told him I’ll help him with it. Im already researching whole sale shoe vendors, and a business plan to get started. Im so excited. We want to sell shoes, purses, perfumes, and women’s accessories. With my help, I know it’ll be the best damn store ever.

—Changing the subject—-

Something Ive been thinking alot about lately is the fact that my ex has never seen his own daughter. I cant help but want for him to see her so bad. Especially since he kept asking me about her even after she was born. but I feel like if I did that I would be opening pandoras box. What if he wanted some sort of custody? what if he wanted her over night?? What if he started threatening me again to take her from me? I just get so scared thinking of all that. But I hate that he has never seen his own daughter. And its going to be hard when Layla starts asking about her daddy. I honestly still dont know what Ill tell her.

On to other news, my parents came back from their trip and brought back goodies for me and Layla:

her first little purse from her grandpa and grandma.

they bought her a silver spoon lol! oh man. theres no stopping them is there?

I LOVE this little dress they got her. its adorable!!

The earrings my mom and dad got me.

and a bracelet 🙂

The next day after arriving, my mom and uncle got in a car accident. A 24 year old guy crashed into them from behind because he was distracted—he was texting while driving. He was driving at 60 MPH when he hit them from behind.  The impact was really strong, since my mom had completely stopped and was waiting to turn.

My poor uncle suffered some wounds to his arm, and my mom had some neck pain. they were both taken to a hospital to be looked at. something really important to do after a car accident is to start taking joint cartilage building capsules to help your body recover. without them, the body stiffness usually felt after a car accident could develop into more serious complications.

Anyway, I was at work when my mom called me to tell she had just been in an accident and needed to get ahold of my dad. my heart started racing. I quickly let my dad know, and he notified the police, the insurance company and went out to the scene of the accident where my mom and uncle were at. Im so glad shes ok, but moments like that really get you thinking how fragile life is.

At the towing yard getting my belongings out.

The good thing is my mom will get a new car. I hated that mini van. No offense to mini van drivers out there. But my mom needed a new car. She doesn’t even have small children anymore! That mini van has suffered through all my little brothers messes, from a soda can exploding, a bottle of chlorox spilling, dirt, wear and all kinds of other gooey spillings. Sianora mini van! I wont miss you! (I hope my mom gets a cool new car. shes a hot grandma. She should be driving a four door car.)

My mom stopping by the office

Onto this weeks Idol news: As you may know Amber went home. She cried at the end of the show. I know she wanted to win really bad but look at Jennifer Hudson–she was 4th place too, and now she has an Oscar. So theres still hope!! I loved when Ryan Seacrest spotted out baby face in the crowd. My jaw literally dropped. maybe because I listen to his song only every single day! It seriously calms Layla down while I drive. I love it. I could use white noise but listening to actual music is even nicer. and what better than classic 90’s baby face songs?? :]

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I also got my baby girls ears pierced this week! finally! I had been wanting to do that for the past month. She cried for a few seconds, but mostly I think she was just stunned. there were no actual tears and as soon as she heard my voice she stopped crying. Still though, I’ll admit, when I first heard her high pitched cry, I wanted to cry too. It sounds silly but I guess its a parent thing.

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all done!

my baby girl is BLING BLINGIN now! **

my little monkey

After I got her ears pierced I picked up some things from Target:

some baby leggings–arent these cute??

soothies pacifiers! she actually liked these! now she can start to self soothe and I dont have to worry that Im over feeding her.

I picked up some picture frames to hang on a narrow wall in my room.

I also got this cool mirror so I can see Layla while Im driving now.

I had this dream last night that I lost her. It was the most awful feeling I’ve ever felt!! my mom kept asking me in my dream “Why’d you leave her out of your sight?!” I kept looking around in panic. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, so I made myself wake up just to make sure she was next to me. (yes, I can make myself wake up when Im having a bad dream.) It was such a relief to wake up and see her sleeping soundly next to me. I cant even begin to explain how much I love her. She makes me smile all the time. being a mom is awesome!

My sister is going to try to get pregnant through IVF. Its going to cost her around $10,000 and they’re going to pick the gender. I really hope it works for her. She wants a baby girl so badly. She has a great relationship with her boyfriend, the kind most people would wish for. all their missing now is their bundle of joy. Its funny because I have my bundle of joy, and Its the greatest thing in the world, but I dont have a love life. So when I hear about her and her boyfriend and all the cute things they do, and how they still feel butterflies even 4 years later, its kind of nostalgic for me. Im happy for her, but I guess I kind of miss being in love. oh well. cant have it all. Im just lucky to have my little Layla.

Im off to bed with my little pumkin. hugs and kisses from Cali! 🙂

 

 

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