Tag Archives: expecting

Precious Moments

2 Jul

I just want more time to love my baby. I love laying with her on my bed breastfeeding her with the window open and the cool breeze blowing in (i live in a rural area and dont have neighbors.) As she lays next to me, she has one arm behind her head, completely relaxed and her other little hand clutches my breast as if to make sure no one takes her food from her. Her little legs are slightly crossed, her tiny toes touching my legs. Her skin is so baby soft and smooth. I love to take her little hand and run my fingers over it sometimes. Its amazing how small her hand is compared to mine. But its more than that. I marvel at how beautiful her little fingers are. I just love them.
I kiss her forehead gently as she starts to fall asleep while nursing. Sometimes I sing the itsy bitsy spider to her, but I forget the words and end up humming it.
I really need to learn the words to these nursery songs haha.
Work was hectic today just because layla is teething and was screaming/crying all day at the office. I was on the phone with our computer tech when she started crying so loud that I could no longer hear him. I apologized, and then quickly hung up. I didnt even wait for him to say good bye. I decided to take her home early and we watched a movie together at home- Some country movie with gwyneth paltrow and leighton meester. It was pretty sad…made me cry at the end. But hey at least I got to watch a whole movie today!
Hopefully layla has a better day tommorow-she seemed like she was in alot of pain today, poor thing. I hope her two bottom teeth cut through soon-shes gonna look so cute with her lil chompers haha!

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Getting our outfits ready for work in the morning

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Her first doll

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My lil sunshine

What Makes A Good Parent?

19 Apr

I started thinking about this the other day, after a few people repeatedly made it seem as if I must be competing for the hunger games. There is no going back. I have embarked in the race of…motherhood. “You’ll be alright,” they tell me in a reassuring mother tone, “I know it must be tough” “you’re doing a good job mama”  “You’re going to do ok.”

I cant help but notice a trace of concern in their voice and the look of will power in their eyes as if encouraging to keep going.

UM. Im sorry, have I missed something? I dont understand what I should be worried about. Am I supposed to be worried about being a good mom? or learning how to do this ‘parenting thing’? it never crossed my mind until everyone started making it seem as if I should be a ball of nerves.

So then, I guess maybe Im the weird one. Maybe its normal to be a ball of nerves and question whether youre doing a good job as a parent. Im not trying to sound cocky…I just never even knew that parents would worry about this kind of stuff! Also I dont believe in worrying. I think its a waste of time. I believe in being proactive. If theres a problem, fix it. end of story.

I dont question my ability to be a good parent for the following reasons:

1. The most important thing you can ever do in your childs life is LOVE them. hug them, kiss them, laugh with them. Love is essential in raising a healthy well balanced adult.

2.  RESEARCH. Im on google all the time. If I had a boyfriend, his name would be Google. And Im all googly-eyed for him. OK, Ill stop. But seriously, as a mother you cant just let things slide because you ‘didnt know better’. we are in the age of Google–you cant use that excuse anymore. Ive researched things such as formula vs breast milk, organic formula and how to make it yourself (the rest is pretty harmful) vaccinations (oooh wee I wont even get started with that one, but I wish more people knew just how harmful they really are. one word: mercury. its in all the vaccines. If you dont know what mercury is look it up and then tell me if you would willingly inject that into your precious bundle of joy.) and the list goes on and on on subjects I research. Being a good parent means researching everything and anything that can have an effect in your childs life. Question everything.

3. Know the difference between pumping your kid up with healthy self esteem and creating an ego-tistic monster who thinks the world revolves around him. Also, knowing when to use dicipline and how. Dont know? There’s books on all these subjects.

4. Teach them the importance of money and saving early on. Im not just talking a piggy bank here. Only lesson theyll get from that is finding a hammer to break it when the ice cream truck comes by. No, Im talking about teaching them how to budget even at a young age. for example, If they get $5 a week, they have to learn they can only spend $2, save $2, and donate $1. If they want a big toy, but spent all their money on other things, a lesson will be taught.

5. Look for any talents or skills they posses and help them hone them early on. Do they like painting? drawing? dancing? music? put them in a class, or have a personal tutor help them. Like they say…Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

6. Make sure the people you entrust your child with are actually people who will treat your child well, and who you are certain wont hurt your child in any way. If this isnt possible, make sure you teach your child self defense.

Layla wanted to hang out with me in the front seat while we waited for a friend.

Layla wanted to hang out with me in the front seat while we waited in the car. Shes such a momas girl 😉

Something that also makes me feel comfortable parenting is the fact that I grew up taking care of my little brothers, and I pretty much raised the last one. I also ran a small daycare when I lived in Texas.

Its weird but I actually feel like this is my second child since I raised my younger brother. I will admit there are mistakes you make with the first ones that you learn from. I was 17 when I was raising my 4 year old brother. I went a little over board in making him feel special and taking him everywhere (think amusement parks, zoo, ice cream, movies, toy store, ect.) and buying him toys every other weekend (my parents didnt have time for any of that and I didnt want him to miss out on a fun child hood.) I didnt think I was spoiling him back then, until he grew up and thought he just “deserved” things, and money grew on trees. Uh-oh….I knew I was to blame. the good thing is it wasnt too late.

My little brother and I hanging out at Wal-Mart. I was 17 and he was 4 in this picture.

Ive always been so proud of my baby brother.

He’s 14 now and is starting to learn the value of earning things (my dad has him take care of our animals early each morning. If he does his job well then my dad will give him something hes been wanting like a laptop, piano, gameboy DS, ect.) Its funny because at first he hated looking after the goats and chickens. He would forget to go down to the barn, and my dad would be pissed that the animals weren’t fed. Then my brother complained to me that my dad didnt pay him anyway so why should he do it. “he doesnt pay you anymore,” I reminded him,”because you werent doing a good job.” He stayed quiet, and after that he seemed to start waking up on time to feed the animals. He also wasnt very giving unless he was getting something back, as of recently.  I would ask for help with something and he would say, “Whats in it for me?” LOL…this kid. When he saw there was nothing in it for him he declined. Well a few weeks ago he was dying to use my computer. I kept saying no. Finally I said he could use it but only for 30 minutes. I actually would’ve let him use it longer but I wanted him to appreciate my gesture. at the end of the 30 minutes minutes he got up, smiled and said, “Thanks.” As he walked out of my room, I told him, “Sometimes when you do something nice for someone, you dont get something back right away…but eventually that person will do something nice for you in return.” He stopped at the door way, threw his head up a little as if reflecting, said, “ahhhh” and then walked away. He will now randomly ask me if I need help with something, and never complains when I ask him to do something for me. Even as kids get older, there’s always a lesson that can be taught to mold them into the adults you want them to become.

You might say the lesson I taught him was faulty because I didnt teach him to be selfless. I taught him to still expect something after a nice gesture. While that may be true, Im happy to reach some progress. Rome wasn’t built in a day after all.

As far as my little brother being well balanced, I have to say hes the most well balanced kid I know. Im so proud of him. He is easily liked by everyone. He can make fun of himself, relate to anyone, and he always has something to say about any subject. Teachers, kids, and people of all ages love him.

When he was about 5 years old he used to love for me to tell him the story of when he was born. I would over-dramatize the whole thing and tell him that the day he was born the world stopped. “everyone looked at each other and shouted, ‘DION is here!!!!’ Im talking people all over the world. then fireworks went off everywhere, even up in space!!! There hadnt been flowers for a while, but once you were born, there were colorful flowers coming out everywhere! God smiled the day you were born. and you know what else? You were born with a brain too big for your head. its true. Its because you’re so smart. only geniuses are born with big brains like that.” My 5 year old brothers eyes would light up with that story. I praised him on his homework (which he only got a+’s on, and his test scores, which he always scored above average.) I told him he was special, and smart, and awesome as much as possible. Looking back now, I know I over did it. lol…but at least the kid has a healthy self esteem now. Ill go a little more easy on Layla though. I now know, youre only supposed to praise them when they do good things, not ‘just because they’re alive’. They have to grow up knowing they have to work for things, even praises. otherwise they grow up feeling entitled. and yes, my little brother went through that phase. Thank goodness we worked on that.

I had to take the “I’m a privileged rich kid” mentality out of his head. I made him think my parents were barely hanging on financially. Its for his own good. No kid should ever adopt that mentality. If you teach them to expect less, they’re more grateful for whatever they get. And let me tell ya, nothings worse than an ungrateful child. Nothing.

I think being a good parent is not that hard. I’ve made mistakes but that doesn’t make me a bad parent. it makes me human.

I realize I will not be a perfect parent, and I also will not have a perfect child.

Ill make mistakes, and she’ll make mistakes. With that in mind, lets accept them, learn from them and move on. Why strive to be something we are not? Lets just strive to be the best we can be, slap a lot of love on that sandwich and call it a day.

😉

this is us before leaving to her doctors appointment. She now weighs 13.4 pounds at 2 months. She’s reached all her mile stones for being 8 weeks, and Im really proud of her! shes such a bright girl.

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