Tag Archives: girl


3 Aug

I haven’t written in a long while — which makes me feel bad because there’s SO much going on in my life and i want to write it all down before i forget it forever. then i end up telling a story where i cant remember what really happened. See this is why couples end up with different stories 20 years later! he thinks theyve been married 23 years and she insists its 25 (although I would lean more towards believing a woman since were more peculiar about important dates.)

But where oh where is the time when youre a single full-time working mother?? I barely have time to eat sometimes!

Anyway, I want to document something special about Layla…

She will be 6 months old soon, and she is the most amazing little human being i have ever met. It feels wonderful that I get to see her every day if only for a few hours. It was hard leaving her with my mom, and not getting to see her all day. At first I felt mad at the universe and thought, “I cant even raise my own damn daughter.” I was just pissed that other moms get to see there babies all day, and unfortunately I cant because I have to work. But I came to terms with it. I accept it now and Im just happy I have someone very special to come home to. Plus I know Layla is well taken care of with my mom and she really LOVES my mom — she always get sooooo happy when she hears my moms voice.

Shes lost some of her baby fat since i started pumping. I realized i was over producing and over feeding her.  I think she also stretched out a little. I know babies get cuter as they get bigger and I dont know if its just motherly love but i just think Layla is gorgeous. her little face just takes my breath away. especially in the mornings when i wake up next to her and shes sleeping like a little diva.

she gets a ton of attention every time we go out somewhere — people just go nuts over her! strangers just seem to fall in love with her. my brother actually told me –get this— “I dont know how you did it but you have the cutest baby in the world.” well thanks for the insult/compliment haha!

My dad just loves her to pieces. shes his pride and joy.

Layla can now turn over rapidly, has two bottom teeth, and loves grasping objects.  She’s a very bright girl. When she wants to be carried, she doesnt cry — she fake coughs. being her mom, i know when shes really coughing and when shes not. she sounds like a really bad actress and makes these face expressions as if she hopes im buying it. when i lean over her and pretend to worry, she stops and then fake coughs a little more. As soon as i carry her I notice a little smile on her face and i chuckle a little, to which she just full out starts laughing like she knows what she did!

Her hair has grown so much i actually had to cut it. I kept it in a little plastic bag. Im not very sentimental to things like hair or teeth but for some reason I just couldnt throw away her hair! ugh. Im officially a mom i guess. *snorts

Can you believe megan fox is preggo again????! what!!! you hear of all these other stars waiting until theyre 30 and 40 to finally have children but not megan fox. I guess shes not as vain as she seems huh?

Im actually excited about my friends getting pregnant now! I couldnt care less before I was a mom. I mean, sure it was cool “someone was going to have a baby”. BUT NOW its like “OMYGOD!!! YOURE PREGNANT!!! LOL!!!” *tears

why am i so emotional about that? sheesh i weird myself out.

Im still breastfeeding, even though Ive gotten plugged ducts twice and mastitis once. hey im the first in my family to breastfeed so im learning as i go. ive learned though that pure cranberry juice from a health store is a breast feeding mothers best friend 🙂 drink that at the first signs of a plugged duct and youll be just fine.

Oh and layla has tried biting me while i nurse her but i just push her face against my boob for a second so she cant breath and she releases her chompers right away. problem solved.

I have to say the first few months of being a new mom are HARD but its finally getting to the point where i am just THRILLED to be a mom.




25 Jan

My stomach that is.

Its getting gi-normous! everyone keeps telling me i look like i swallowed a watermelon. Even the guy that works at the cell phone kiosk at the mall nick named me “water melon girl.” One of my friends told me i dont look pregnant from the back though, which is weird since im sooooo obviously pregnant in the front.  I really dont know how i can possibly get bigger…!! I mean SERIOUSLY. If my stomach grows any bigger i will surely tip over. not even kidding.

I only have 4 weeks left till my due date (but honestly im thinking ill have my baby a week or two early.) either way, it means i will be seeing my baby VERY VERY SOON!! *girly squeel inserted here* I am so over the moon excited to hold her and look at her little face.

I passed my glucose test, and i just had my strep B test done last week. I have a feeling my doctor is a bit of a pervert but its too late to change doctors this late in the game in my opinion. But you know your doctors a little pervy when they get that little involuntary smile that creeps up on their face right before they check your privates. and dont even get started on how the rest went! I personally feel he took longer than he had to and did the test differently than how i read its supposed to be done.  But …whatever. Just glad thats over with and soon i wont have to be seeing him anymore.

I was deppressed last week for a day or two. But then I got over it. So maybe I wanted Oreo cookies and milk and I only got a sugar cookie and a glass of water….well then so be it. I will be happy with my sugar cookie and glass of water. Its better than nothing! Ive learned my lesson though: I will never beleive anyone who promises me Oreo cookies and milk until theyre in my hand. You know, Just to be on the safe side.

Lately Ive noticed how quiet it is when im home alone. I dont have a TV or a Radio so I guess thats part of the reason why its so quiet, but it just makes me ponder on how it wont always be this way. very soon the quietness will be filled with a little newborn crying (hopefully not too much crying though.) I will look over at the side of my bed and instead of the sleep sheep inside the rocker sleeper, Ill see my precious baby girl. I cant wait to see her eyes opened wide staring up at me. and that first smile. I cant wait!

Theres a saying my mom often repeats to me: “theres always something good to be taken from every bad situation.”

In this case that “good” would definitely be my little Layla who will be here soon.




I usually have Layla listen to Mozart and Beethoven either while i do my make-up in the day or at night before i go to bed.



15 Jan

Well I cant say I didn’t warn myself.

I didn’t want a baby shower since the beginning but my 18 year old brother INSISTED i have one. I figured, ok why not. it’ll be small, nothing fancy or complicated. just a nice meal, some family and some presents. easy peasy right?


It started with my brother Damian and his wife planning my baby shower. Soon though his wife opted out, saying she didnt know too much about planning a party.

Then my other brothers girlfriend heard of my baby shower and quickly jumped on the band wagon. She wanted to help plan it too.

So Damian and Daisy were going to be the host and hostess of my baby shower. ( just FYI…they had dated each other in the past.) so now that they were going to be planning this party together, it meant alot of “talk” time with each other, which irritated my brothers wife Isabel, who believed Daisy might still be interested in Damian, which wasnt true at all. So that sparked some drama. Isabel said some things to Daisy that she probably shouldn’t have and ever since then there has been a rift between them.

Aside from family drama, my brother Damian told me early on that he would be getting me a Britax car seat and matching stroller. I was beyond excited. I didnt worry about the car seat after that because i was counting on him. WELL….right before i was 8 months, he told me he didnt get it after all. He was going to wait until january to get it, but the deal was long gone before then. I told him good deals dont last long. I dont understand how he thought it would still be there months later at that incredible price. not only was i hugely let down after being so excited, but i was also  super stressed out because now i had to find a car seat quickly since they WONT let you leave the hospital without one.

I made an online amazon gift registry and gave my brother the link so he could pass it on to the people he was going to invite. He lost it twice and had me resend it to him three times. He also did not pass the link to any of the people invited. He “forgot.” And by the time i checked with him about it, there were only two weeks left for my baby shower. It was too late to have people order the gifts online. I would now get presents I didnt really want or need. “great.”

I also made a list that i hand wrote with instructions on what food we would have at my baby shower (my favorite meal) the decorations, the place, the time, and the people that would be invited. Damian asked if he could have the list and i gladly gave it to him since he was planning the party. WELL…he lost it.

He kept calling me over and over asking about every detail. He would ask me the same questions too. “Hey what are you gonna cook again?” was asked at least 5 times, followed by pesky questions like “when are you going to make it? are you going to put salad dressing on the salad? are you making the salad the night before or the day of?”

“hey what am i supposed to bring again?” He would ask over and OVER. “chips and soda,” I would repeat time and time again. funny enough, on the day of the baby shower he still forgot the chips.

When we changed the baby shower from its original date to the next weekend so that our Hostess could be there, I asked Damian to call everyone and let them know of the date change. He whined and complained and i had to remind him it wasn’t that big of a deal to call the five people he invited and tell them of the new baby shower date. He then told me he didnt feel “appreciated.” OH GEEZ im sorry Im not more grateful at how whiny youre being with the little job you have of sitting on your butt, picking up your phone and making 5 short calls that’ll take you no more than 10 minutes. geez life must be so hard. and he was supposed to be my Host, the person that makes everything easier for ME. instead he complained about the littlest things, stressing me out.

Daisy and Damian could not get along on anything and kept arguing with each other and then running to me like little kids telling on each other. I had to play referee just like a mother with two children. They kept telling me they were really “stressed” out about planning the party which i totally did NOT understand. it was a SMALL baby shower with less than 20 people. we had the place and the time set, we had the tables, chairs, food, and decorations set. Im sorry—was i missing something?? how could anyone be stressed out? It almost made me laugh–in irony that is. I planned my parents anniversary party with more than 200 guests ALL BY MYSELF. I didnt forget anything, and I didnt complain to anyone. Yes it was stressful, but i didnt act like a little sissy about it. I simply took charge and got things done.

I kept getting phone calls from Damian and Daisy asking about things they didnt need to worry me with. Daisy didnt even know where to get a cake. UMmmm…. a bakery perhaps?? She waited till the last minute even when i told her that if she wanted to put an order in she had to do it at least a few days before or during the day when they were open. well she waited until the night before when the bakery was closed already and so she had to pick what they had in the glass windows. I ended up with a plain purple chocolate cake with purple letters that said “its a girl.” what ticked me off was the way they wrote the letters. usually they make them cursive like and fancy. not on my cake. It was written in plain letters. nothing special.

I asked Daisy the day before if she had everything ready (she was in charge of the decorating and games.) she said yes, and i breathed a sigh of relief. well. THAT GIRL LIED.

The night before my baby shower i asked her if she had prizes for the games we would play. she said she forgot. So i bought some prizes.

Damian kept calling me trying to change the menu. he wanted a bar-B-Q even though he didnt want to pay for it or do any of the meat prepping or grilling. I had to remind him it was my baby shower, and we were going to have my favorite meal which was alot cheaper and easier to make. He was acting like it was his special day almost demanding we make what he wanted. When i told him i didnt want a cook out at my baby shower he said, “well ill think about it.” then he told me it was supposed to be a “surprise baby shower” anyway so i shouldnt even be aware of what we would be eating, as if trying to justify his “right” to impose on the menu. “how was it supposed to be a surprise when you told me from the beginning that you were going to make me a baby shower?!” i asked bewildered. He stuttered. I told him he was stressing me out and hung up on him. Then later he asked if we could add some ground meat to the meal we would have at the baby shower. I told him no. Again, He wasn’t offering to buy the meat, prep the meat, or cook the meat. he just seemed to want to make things difficult.

The next day I was supposed to pick up Daisy to go over to my cousins house and start decorating together (she wanted me to go with her since she was too shy to show up by herself at my cousins house.) Not only was i helping my mom prepare the food that morning, i also had to help Daisy decorate, which was stressing me out since i still had to go home and prepare the salads AND get myself ready for the party.

When i talked to Daisy right before picking her up, she let me know we would still need to stop at a few stores to get some things she still hadnt gotten. but we didnt have time anymore. she was supposed to have gotten everything before the day of the party. I suggested she go get everything before i got there. so she had her mom take her quickly. After i got to her house, her mom dropped her off and then left to a doctors appointment. Daisy got in my car and as we drove off, she realized she left ALL the bags of decorations she had just bought inside her moms car! “well call her!” i said alarmed. She said she also forgot her cell phone. She said we could do without those things for the moment and so we drove to my cousins house to start decorating with the things we did have.

Once there, she realized she forgot more things. we decorated the tables, and she blew a few balloons and threw them on the ground. I told her maybe we should tape them to the chairs, tables, or ceiling but she said no. She thought it would look prettier to have balloons all over the floor. but the wind was blowing them by the rose bushes, and my cousins dog kept chasing them too. some popped, and after blowing up five balloons, she was too tired to blow any more.

When i asked her what baby shower games we were doing she drew a blank. “I forgot…” she said smiling. So i reminded her which ones we had talked about, and asked if she had what we needed to play them. she didnt. so we had to go to the store quickly and buy some things last minute.

afterwards i dropped her off at her house. She told me she would take the decorations she left in her moms car and put them up as soon as she got to the party later.

I went home, put my salads together and then only had 20 minutes to get ready. I quickly ran a curling iron threw my bed head hair, and slapped on some make-up. soon my brother David and Derick got home. Derick was asking me what should he wear to my party. I gave him some ideas but it didnt dawn on me that he was gonna go to my baby shower. Then it hit me.

“WAIT. youre coming to my baby shower??” i asked him.

“yeah,” he said excitedly.

“uhhhh…Its just I cant have you and Damian both there. I would really love for you to be there but since i have to pick bewtween you guys, its only right i pick Damian since he was the one who planned my baby shower.”

You see, Derick had sex with Damians wife last summer. Damian hasnt forgiven Derick and cant stand being in the same room with him, even though they both work for my dad.

Derick insisted on going saying they see each other at work every day anyway. I felt bad telling my brother a straight out “no you cant go.” I mean hes my brother and I love him.  looked at my other brother for help. David looked like he felt just as bad to tell him no. so i said, “ok, well we will just be adults about this then.”

I let my sister in law know that Derick would be there, and she quickly alerted Damian. She called me a minute later saying Damian had “lost it.” and that he kept saying he was going to “do something.”

“you should talk to him,” she said in her meek voice.

I told my brother that if he was going to do something id prefer that hed stay home. I didnt want anyone being selfish and ruining my baby shower. He cursed me out, and told me to do whatever i wanted but that we were “all going to pay for it.”

I told my mom as soon as she got to our house, and she said she had a strong feeling that Damian was going to get drunk and come to the baby shower with a gun to kill Derick. So she quickly told Derick what Damian was saying and told him it was better if he didnt go. Derick agreed. I told him we could do a sprinkle baby shower next weekend with him. he smiled and said ok.

Then my mom got on her phone with Damian to calm him down. He was already drinking heavily and kept making threats.

When we got to my baby shower, there were only a few people there. I was still stressed out from the drama my brother was creating, and my hostess wasnt there yet so i had no one to lean on. My mom was talking to Damians wife who was telling her that two guys were holding Damian back from leaving his house but that he was really strong and they almost couldnt hold him back. He was also really drunk already. we had already told him Derick was not going to be there after all, but he didnt care. He still wanted to cause a scene.

Finnally Daisy arrived and i felt better thinking that my hostess would take care of things. I asked her if she brought the rest of the decorations. she said she forgot. I asked if she brought the doll for the baby hot potato game. she said she forgot. She also forgot her presents at home.

We were in the backyard setting up the cake on the table but it was freezing cold so i suggested maybe we move things inside. this seemed to tick her off. she said all her decorations would go to waste. The only decorations i saw were the table covers, the plates, some confetti, and candy. It took minutes to set up and it would take seconds to move inside. I wasnt sure what made her say “all” her decorations would go to waste.

Then I told her we would also need to move the cake table inside. She had a fit, threw her hands up in the air and walked away. my brother went after her. a minute later my cousins were helping bring everything inside.

everyone was starving, but Daisy wasnt taking charge of the food, and my mom wasnt there to help me–She was talking to Damian on her phone outside. So i prepared the food and let everyone know they could come serve themselves. David shook his head at me and said, “youre not supposed to be doing this–Daisy is.” In essence, yes she was supposed to do it…she was my hostess after all. but i was starting to feel that i had no hostess.

Soon everyone was sitting down eating. I sat down next to my brother David and Daisy and ate quietly. Daisy was also quiet. thankfully my cousins in front of us started talking about previous car accidents they had been in. weirdly enough i actually enjoyed hearing their stories. I badly wanted to focus on anything other than my baby shower.

A few minutes later i asked Daisy and David if we should cut the cake since everyone was almost done eating. they said i should wait.

A few minutes later one of my cousins was asking for cake. I looked at Daisy and told her they wanted cake already. She just shrugged her shoulders and looked away. “hey girl, aren’t you supposed to help me though?” I asked her. Again she shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

I understand she was probably dissapointed with how the party had turned out. There werent too many people and we had to move everything inside last minute. But I dont understand why she was taking it out on me.

So i got up thinking i was just going to have to do it myself. A few seconds later she got up and started cutting the cake and serving pieces to everyone. I was a little confused but didnt say anything.

my little cousin cheered me up with some funny youtube videos on her Ipad and it was nice to hear all my other cousins having a good time and laughing in the table next to us. At least the baby shower was proving to be a good time for the rest of my family.

a little while later Daisy came up to me and said she didnt really want to do any of the games since there werent too many people and she was kind of embarassed to get everyone’s attention. I knew there was enough people to play some games but i didnt want to push her to do something she didnt want to do. I told her it didnt matter to me. She said if i changed my mind to let her know. I wanted her to take charge and make it fun but knowing that she didnt want to do it, just ruined it for me. I was looking forward to the games so much. I had even bought expensive prizes. but now that was ruined too.

later my family started asking me to open my presents. I mustered the courage to look excited and happy. inside though i was really dissapointed in how things were turning out. I walked over to the table where the gifts were at. Daisy who was my hostess and shouldve came up to help me with the presents, just stayed on the couch with my brother. So i awkwardly started opening presents by myself. thankfully my nefu sat next to me and helped pass me the presents. it was a huge help especially with the bigger presents that i couldnt reach or carry on my own.

The presents I got were nice–clothes, crib bedding, a diaper bag, a baby bouncer, a high chair, pacifiers, ect. I loved all the minnie mouse things i received–I wonder if my brother told them I loved minnie mouse. I guess he mustve because I received alot of minnie mouse items! That was really cool. I also received a gift card from my little brother which was really awesome of him since i was really really hoping to get one to buy the last items i need for my baby.

after the presents, we all hung around, eating, laughing and talking. Honestly the last part of my baby shower was the best. I joked with my cousins that even if i delivered a boy, it was still going to be a “girl” to me because i have waaaay too many cute girl outfits already and im not letting them go to waste. That really made them laugh. honestly im never trying to be funny…im usually serious and people crack up at what i say. what really surprises me is when people laugh HARD at something i said. it almost scares me sometimes because im not saying things to make people laugh, and then all of a sudden my ears get shocked with this high pitch laughter from everyone. sometimes i do make a joke expecting a little smile. a twitch of the mouth maybe. but thats it. When people laugh really hard I wonder how they do it. I cant really laugh that hard. usually im like “ha…thats funny.”

Anyway, as the night progressed Daisy seemed to be in a better mood, and became the Daisy I know. She wouldnt let me lift a finger telling me i shouldnt do anything because im pregnant. She was being super sweet and her usual funny loud self. around 10 pm we said goodnight, i thanked everyone (who was still there) for coming, and of course i thanked my cousin for being gracious enough to let us have the baby shower at his house.

The baby shower was finnally over and i felt a sense of relief.

I almost feel like making a T-shirt that says “I SURVIVED MY BABY SHOWER.”

lol…but in all seriousness, at the end of the day none of this baby shower drama matters. the most important thing is that im alive, healthy, and awaiting the biggest miracle of life being created inside of me =) ImageImageImage



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