Tag Archives: happiness

MOMMY TALK

3 Aug

I haven’t written in a long while — which makes me feel bad because there’s SO much going on in my life and i want to write it all down before i forget it forever. then i end up telling a story where i cant remember what really happened. See this is why couples end up with different stories 20 years later! he thinks theyve been married 23 years and she insists its 25 (although I would lean more towards believing a woman since were more peculiar about important dates.)

But where oh where is the time when youre a single full-time working mother?? I barely have time to eat sometimes!

Anyway, I want to document something special about Layla…

She will be 6 months old soon, and she is the most amazing little human being i have ever met. It feels wonderful that I get to see her every day if only for a few hours. It was hard leaving her with my mom, and not getting to see her all day. At first I felt mad at the universe and thought, “I cant even raise my own damn daughter.” I was just pissed that other moms get to see there babies all day, and unfortunately I cant because I have to work. But I came to terms with it. I accept it now and Im just happy I have someone very special to come home to. Plus I know Layla is well taken care of with my mom and she really LOVES my mom — she always get sooooo happy when she hears my moms voice.

Shes lost some of her baby fat since i started pumping. I realized i was over producing and over feeding her.  I think she also stretched out a little. I know babies get cuter as they get bigger and I dont know if its just motherly love but i just think Layla is gorgeous. her little face just takes my breath away. especially in the mornings when i wake up next to her and shes sleeping like a little diva.

she gets a ton of attention every time we go out somewhere — people just go nuts over her! strangers just seem to fall in love with her. my brother actually told me –get this— “I dont know how you did it but you have the cutest baby in the world.” well thanks for the insult/compliment haha!

My dad just loves her to pieces. shes his pride and joy.

Layla can now turn over rapidly, has two bottom teeth, and loves grasping objects.  She’s a very bright girl. When she wants to be carried, she doesnt cry — she fake coughs. being her mom, i know when shes really coughing and when shes not. she sounds like a really bad actress and makes these face expressions as if she hopes im buying it. when i lean over her and pretend to worry, she stops and then fake coughs a little more. As soon as i carry her I notice a little smile on her face and i chuckle a little, to which she just full out starts laughing like she knows what she did!

Her hair has grown so much i actually had to cut it. I kept it in a little plastic bag. Im not very sentimental to things like hair or teeth but for some reason I just couldnt throw away her hair! ugh. Im officially a mom i guess. *snorts

Can you believe megan fox is preggo again????! what!!! you hear of all these other stars waiting until theyre 30 and 40 to finally have children but not megan fox. I guess shes not as vain as she seems huh?

Im actually excited about my friends getting pregnant now! I couldnt care less before I was a mom. I mean, sure it was cool “someone was going to have a baby”. BUT NOW its like “OMYGOD!!! YOURE PREGNANT!!! LOL!!!” *tears

why am i so emotional about that? sheesh i weird myself out.

Im still breastfeeding, even though Ive gotten plugged ducts twice and mastitis once. hey im the first in my family to breastfeed so im learning as i go. ive learned though that pure cranberry juice from a health store is a breast feeding mothers best friend 🙂 drink that at the first signs of a plugged duct and youll be just fine.

Oh and layla has tried biting me while i nurse her but i just push her face against my boob for a second so she cant breath and she releases her chompers right away. problem solved.

I have to say the first few months of being a new mom are HARD but its finally getting to the point where i am just THRILLED to be a mom.

 

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A MOTHERS WISHES

1 Apr

Yesterday was the first day my baby started smiling back at me — Its the coolest thing in the world. I swear she has the cutest smile. and her giggle–my God, its better than the giggle from the baby on the teletubies! Im tellin ya’…i have a little ray of sunshine on my hands. She is going to spread joy and happiness everywhere she goes! I just know it.

I look out the kitchen window and i imagine what i will see in a year or two:

A wooden swing

A HUGE sandbox with lots of toys

A little play house

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a Barbie Jeep

A slide

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and a little pool.

 

 

my friends daughter is just two months older than Layla so we’ve concluded that they will be bffs 🙂

I picture my little Layla and her pal Tiffany playing out in the yard while i prepare them mini sandwiches and juice.

I think of all the fun things i want to do with Layla, all the places i want to take her to, and all the love i want to give her.

I want to be the best mom ever.

Moving Back in With My Parents

28 Mar

This past saturday me and my sister were supposed to go to the mall to get my baby girls ears pierced (my sister wants to buy her her first pair of earrings–how sweet!) BUT…

I ended up moving. it was kind of unexpected. my dad and brother came by my place with a u-haul truck early saturday morning and helped move all my stuff to my parents house. I knew i would eventually move up to my parents house, i just didnt know it would be so soon.

Anyway I got my brothers old room which i had painted in blue stripes a few years ago. its a little boy-ish but i really dont have the time to re-paint it so im just going to have to get used to a blue room. at least the colors are soothing 🙂

being back home is AWESOME.

my mom is helping me with Layla so much–she loves to burp her for me, hold her for me, bathe her for me, ect. shes such a great grandma. and her cooking…oh man. i wish everyone had a mother who cooked like mine. seriously. Its like having a five star chef in your home.

My dad is so happy to have his grand daughter around. it really seems to make his day to see her when he gets home from work. Im so glad that my little girl is so loved and accepted.

waking up and seeing her little face in the mornings makes me so happy. I cant beleive i made such a precious thing in my belly! I used to think it was weird when i would see moms laughing at any little thing their babies did, and now i understand it. Layla doesnt have to do much to make me laugh with absolute giddy joy. She makes me HAPPY. in fact im happier now than ive ever been.

 

 

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*sigh. I love her so much =)

6.5 months pregnant!

24 Nov

The weeks seem to be going by so fast now! THEN again…i do sleep like a hybernating polar bear. thank GOD i dont look like one though! so far Ive gained 20 pounds but my doctor told me that im right on track and still need to gain more since im skinny. Im definately not dieting but im not going to give myself the “Im pregnant—i can eat what i want” pass. after all, eating for two doesnt mean you get to eat like chubacca. who ever made that lie up should choke on a wienie. i mean who says you get a free pass JUST because youre preggers?? its not like the baby really gets any nutrition from the nachos, twinkies, and ice cream sundaes. YOU on the other hand are left looking pregnant 6 months after the baby is born. and thats.not.fun. is it? no sir.

My thing is i dont want to look like a typical “mom”. I will not cut my hair into a short bob, or sport mom jeans *shudders* or ever buy a mini-van. I want to look something like THIS: 

well yes, i know i might be fantasizing, but hey, i can dream.

So far, I still dont have stretch marks, constipation, aches, pains, nausea, hemmoroids, or varicose veins.

I DO HOWEVER have a small broken capillarie on the back of my leg. it looks like a little red birth mark. I read that grape seed extract will make it go away.

also my right eye has been dry and red so i had to buy artificial tear drops. theyve been working great lately.

my skin has been behaving really well thanks to the coconut oil, Baking soda and lemon. no more break outs!

and did i mention i love my big boobs?? 🙂

now on to my sweet sweet child:

She is now close to 2 pounds, has begun to open and close her eyes (which are blue for now since all babies have that color in womb) shes surely growing curly little hair on her head by now, as well as eyelashes and eyebrows.

and the best part??! she kicks me all the time now! and hard!!

ive gotten used to her kicking me now, so i no longer make that dumb OMG face O_O now its more of a blissful happy face.

I cant wait to see her, hold her, change her diapers, feed her, carry her, and take her with me every where. and to think…only 3 more months!!!

now on to my baby/pregnancy purchases:

I bought head phones so Layla can listen to classical music:

Now i need to go find that classical CD! where oh where did i put it??

I also purchased this body pillow:

It was $80 on Amazon, and its alot like the snoogle (but better in my opinion.)

I also purchased this top:

I thought it would be really cool to wear this while im pregnant so i can make the tigers face pop out like 3D. yeah yeah. Im a nerd. haha…

I also bought this blanket for my baby girl:

is it not the softest cutest blanket ever?? me thinks yes 🙂

the sleepers i got her—totally couldn’t help myself. they were $8 each at Wallyworld 🙂

I also purchased a flat iron by Biosilk (the makers of CHI) these are usually $80 but i got it on sale for $25 *AND SHE SCOOOOOORES!!!*

ahem. got a little excited there.

Heres what it looks like:

Gotta keep my hair ‘did !!

I also placed an order online through a proffesional photo lab to print an 8 x 10 picture of my parents dancing at their anniversary party. I already have the frame for it. So im just waiting to receive the picture. I paid $16 for ONE picture. thats kind of outrageous spending for me since i love bargains and deals BUT you cant go cheap on somethings. especially picture quality. you get what you pay for there. I cant wait ’till my mom sees it. she has no idea im doing this 🙂 I think itll look really nice hung up on the living room wall next to the rest of the family pictures..

my baby shower will be within the next month or so, and my mom said shes getting me the crib (I love my momma!)

This is the crib shes getting me from my amazon baby registry 🙂

Also my brother is getting me the britax stroller and matching car seat ! Im so excited!

I dont really like any of the strollers ive seen (thats a nice way of saying they repulse me) but this one…this one I LIKE!

now on to the medical stuff:

I just had my glucose test the other day. my doctor said they will call me on monday if anything is wrong. I could be wrong but i think Im pretty healthy. So hopefully they wont call.

I also scheduled an ultrasound just so i could see my baby again but my mom doesnt think thats such a hot idea. she thinks too many ultrasounds might harm the baby. Ive had 4 so far. SO i guess ill just play it safe and wait until shes born.

Ive been taking my vitamins, herbs, minerals, and omega 3s religiously. I put them in these little baggies to make it easier to remember to take them. I recently added calcium and green zone capsules (a vegetable supplement.) so far i haven’t gotten sick and im feeling good!

Heres a pic from my 6 month photo shoot with my brothers and sister in law:

Cant wait to see whos cooking in there!

This is what i plan to wear when Im leaving the hospital after I deliver:

This is what i plan to wear 3 months after giving birth:

hopefully ill go back to my pre-pregnancy size sooner than expected:

 

Ill be breastfeeding, juicing, souping, eating vegan, taking my vitamins, using a body shaper, and exercising. So im pretty confident Ill be back in shape soon after my baby is born. I cant wait to be skinny again! I think thats what i miss the most ….other than that though, this pregnancy has been fairly easy and Im really thankful for that.

 

Life Is Like A Bowl Of Cherries

6 Oct

Ok not really. At least not my life! lol…my life is lemon filled. Sometimes its like a Lemon pie if I’m lucky. Other days its like a lemon. Right in your eye. with salt. and hot Tabasco sauce.

Yesterday was one of those days…

I saw my dad two days ago. I haven’t spoken to him in almost a year. He’s the person who beat me down verbally for many years.

I stopped talking to him and moved out. It kills him, that I wont talk to him…but it kills me to talk to him because hes so hurtful.

Anyway, the company I work for is a company he’s done a lot of business with over the years, so I guess I should’ve known I would see him one of these days but I was seriously hoping I wouldn’t. Then surprise surprise…He walked into the office right before I was leaving. He had a bright sunny smile on his face as he walked in. Then he saw me. There was a brief pause, a shock of surprise for both of us. I smiled politely and said, “Hey Dad.” He stared at me for a moment with his smile slowly fading. My boss then came up and acknowledged him, and I left.

As I drove away a lot of old feelings of not being perfect enough came up. One thing Ive learned about my Dad is that I will never be good enough in his eyes. I’m a “constant dissapointment to him.” That was back when I was living at home and could’ve easily been the poster girl for the 1950’s “goody-two-shoes.” I realized with the time there was nothing I could do to gain his approval. Nothing at all. And I gave up trying. No I didnt run out and get tattoos and a purple mullet hair cut. But I did move out, and start seeing a black guy. Now that I’m knocked up and single I wonder what he must think of me. Just “another disgrace” Im sure. As I drove, I got the sudden urge to cry. But I told myself I wouldn’t. I held it in and kept a straight face. I would not let his judgement keep affecting me anymore.

I went shopping and found Layla her “leaving the hospital” outfit at Gymboree. I also bought her some cute minnie mouse socks. It cheered me up a little to think of my baby girl.

The next day however, my boss asked me about the incident with my Dad. “I didnt know he was your father! Why didnt you two hug or something??” She asked. I couldnt tell her. I tried to play it off but she dug for more answers. Then she said it…I wish she wouldnt have. I didnt want to know.

She said after I left my Dad cried...He didnt know I was working there–no one had told him. He told my boss that we hadn’t spoken in a long time, “-and shes pregnant..” he cried to her. My boss said his lips quivered and she held his hand to comfort him. “He was really sad…” She said looking at me with her big puppy eyes. I knew she felt bad for him. everyone always does. See the thing about my dad is he can come across as the most charming man youve ever met. Hes also really emotional and cries more during sad movies than my mom does (its kind of embarassing sometimes.) BUT most people dont even have a clue how that guy could turn into someone else when the doors and curtains are shut.

Still though, I dont like putting our dirty laundry out there, and as much as he hurt me, I still dont want to damage his reputation. So I gave my boss a vague answer as to why I dont talk to him anymore. Still she wasnt letting it go. She kept mentioning how he cried. “Oh my dad…Hes so emotional,” I said trying to laugh it off. I think I came across as insensitive. I just didn’t want to open Pandora’s box and explode into a giant ball of unending mascara tears.

Truth is… It hurts to know my dad cried because I dont talk to him. I would LOVE to talk to my dad. I want a dad just as bad as he wants a daughter, but I know hes only going to hurt me. I already gave him a second chance in the past and he blew it.

The rest of the day I worked quietly, avoiding any thoughts about my Dad and my ex-fiance’. Its not easy going through a break up when your pregnant and then dealing with family drama. I sat at my desk assembling packets and told myself, “You are the luckiest girl in the world. You are the luckiest girl in the world. Everything in your life is fine and you are very happy.”

I know, I know. Its delusional lol…but you know what? It worked. It helped me keep my composure together.

The sad thing is my dad told my mom he saw me, and that he felt really normal about it. My mom asked how I felt. I lied and said I didn’t really feel anything. Truth is, it was emotional for the both of us but neither one is going to admit it. I guess we have some things in common.

I don’t know if Ill give him a third chance. Part of me wants to. The other part is scared.

Anyway, today was a much much better day!! I had lunch with my mom at Denny’s (we actually ordered the french toast breakfast though lol—hey there are no rules when it comes to food! Ive even had breakfast at night before and let me tell ya…it was awesome!) We had a nice time, laughing and talking. I honestly thank God for having her in my life.

This is random, but I just gotta say I prefer Denny’s over Ihop. I’ll take Ihop if there’s no Denny’s around, but in my opinion Denny’s makes better food. Ive tried the hashbrowns at both places and Denny’s totally wins..

At 5 pm my mom met me again for my ultrasound appointment. I got to see my precious little Layla again and MY GOD she has grown!!! I almost feel like shes my giga pet (remember those?!) and the more I feed it and take care of it, the more it grows–its just so exciting.

While my mom and I watched Layla on the screen, we saw her open and close her mouth and move her little legs around. “Did you see that??!” I would turn over excitedly and ask my mom. She just beamed with joy and shook her head as she stared at the monitor screen.

Now this might sound like bragging but she has such a cute little body! It looks like shes been working out in there!! I mean, WOW those are some lean shapely legs she has! not to mention a nicely shaped behind too! Again she didn’t get it from me *sigh. I wish. Must be from my Ex’s African American genes—His whole body is perfectly sculpted like a Greek statue.

*sigh. Too bad things didn’t work out between us. *deep sigh. *another sigh. I will miss that body. ='( *where are my tissues? *sniffle, sniffle.

Anyway, I’m glad I got to see my baby today. I cannot wait to hold her. Layla will be my little doll–I cant wait to dress her! I’m just so excited about her!! I’ve already bought her a TON of carters clothes that I got off of craigslist for a really good deal. I love getting good deals on clothes ^_^ I am not going to spend a fortune on clothes she will grow out of by the time I’m done sneezing lol..

My little Layla:

Her “leaving the hospital” outfit:

Bump pic from today:

I cant wait to see my little doll–4 more months! I’ve never been more excited about anything in my life =) !

The One Thing I Never Had

25 Sep

Did you ever want something really bad as a kid? I MEAN REALLY BAD. and you never got it…so then maybe you grew up and said to yourself, “Ill make sure my kid has what I didn’t.”

Life is different as a kid…for some reason, that popsicle or that toy is everything dreams are made of. You cant imagine a bigger happiness. Fireworks exploded in your eyes as a kid when you knew you were getting something you really wanted. For some reason as adults its harder to be that ecstatically happy even when we get what we want. Sure, we’re happy, but I bet you looked happier when your mom said she would get you the cereal box that came with the toy inside.

 

Its nice to see a child’s face so full of happiness with the simplest of things.

Well except now’a’days I’m sure they’re asking for things like Iphones, Ipads, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, ect. Kids have gotten expensive…oh boy. I have no choice but to raise my kid in the boonies!! 

I mean seriously…otherwise she’ll never know what a real childhood is about. Its about adventure, freedom, somersaults, and fireflies. camping, climbing, playing, and underwater flips in the pool. The toy section in a big store, hopscotch and jumping rope. Sharing secrets with your best friend, rollerblading, bike riding, and going to sleep at night hopelessly happy after a warm bubble bath and a good bedtime story.

Sometimes though…theres still that ONE thing that you always wanted and never got.

For me, it was a dollhouse. God, how I wouldve died for a dollhouse. It wouldve been like hitting the jackpot for me as a kid. I wanted one sooooooo bad, but never dared to say a word.

We were middle class growing up. We lived in a cookie-cutter house in a nice quiet neighborhood, with more than  enough food in our fridge, and wore clothes from K-mart and Sears. My mom regularly bought me toys and dolls. I treasured each new doll I got. It seemed to make my mom happy to see how well I took care of my toys unlike my brothers who loved to break every new toy in a WWF wrestling match, or unscrew every thing apart just “to see what was inside.”

Still, I wasnt a spoiled brat. I couldnt get every toy or doll I wanted, unlike my “rich” best-friend. Her dad owned horses and they had a big pool in their backyard. Anytime a new barbie was out on commercials…Stacy already had it. I was glad she was my best friend though. She wasn’t stuck up, or mean. She was a nice girl with blonde hair and the slightest streak of freckles playing across the bridge of her nose. We would play “pony’s” and catch  butterfly’s together during recess. She always shared her snack bar money with me too (snack bar was open right before we got to go back to our classroom to watch a Disney movie on Friday’s.)

One of my fondest childhood memories is my dad surprising me with a new doll every so often when he would come home from work. I would light up with happiness unlike any other. He knew I loved dolls. When I was 10 he took me to Toys’R’Us because I had gotten good grades on my report card. He said I could pick out whatever I wanted. well…

I wanted a “boyfriend” for my barbie. 

He looked like he’d just realized his little girl wanted to date. He said NO. His face was a mixture of confusement and disgust. I looked at the handsome Ken Doll in the shiny box above me and pouted.

“Im sorry Barbie…I know youre lonely, but youll have a boyfriend soon, I promise,” I said to my barbie when I got home that night. I ran my hands down her long brown hair soothingly. I got the supermarket for barbie with a shopping cart and all the little canned food, as well as some new outfits for my barbies that day. My dad was surprised that was all I wanted. Really though, I wanted 5 Ken dolls for my barbies. But I knew there was no possibility in that happening. I would have to wait until my mom took me shopping. She would say yes, I was sure. After all, she knew the importance of having a man around!

Well I got the Ken dolls later.

However, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for was the dollhouse. In my mind it was too expensive to even think about asking for. I was a kid, and it just seemed outrageous to ask my parents for something above $100.  The thing is…my parents actually could’ve afforded it. When I grew up and told my mom about it, she just frowned and said, “I wish you would’ve told me how bad you wanted one as a kid. I would’ve bought you one.” GREAT. There’s something I wish I could go back in time and tell my dumb ten year old self.

Instead, I only dreamed. I would secretly go through my neighbors hallway closet and pull out her moms sewing book because in the front pages there was a big picture of a beautiful dollhouse and all its rooms majestically adorned. I would stare at that picture for as long as I could before I heard someone coming. For some reason I couldnt let anyone know how badly I wanted a dollhouse. It was my secret.

One summer, when I was around 10, my dad took me and my family into the Home Depot for a home purchase he needed to make. I walked around calmly without a care when suddenly, there they were before my eyes… the most beautiful Dollhouses sitting in a perfect row on display. My mouth slowly gaped in amazement as I walked up to them. There seemed to be glitter and stars floating around those dollhouses. It was such a magical moment for me.  They were no longer in a picture book or in my neighbors sewing book. They were real and I could put my hand up and touch them. Some had house lights that worked and some had porches. They were…perfect.

Then I looked down at the prices. They were all over $100. My heart dropped. No way would I ever get one of those, I thought. I heard my parents calling me and I quickly left the dollhouses to go catch up to them.

Two years passed by. I was 12, and almost a teenager, but I was as innocent as a lamb and I still played with my barbies. So did my friends. Times were different back then. One day we were helping the librarian in our school clean out her library. She was getting rid of a lot of toys she had on display and my friends were scoring a lot of cool things. I looked around for something to ask her for since she was being so generous. I saw a Dollhouse book on display on a top shelf. It was a really tall book that unfolded into a doll house. It looked almost new and I didn’t really think she wanted to get rid of it, but I took my chances anyway and asked her for it. She looked down at it, and thought about it for a moment, her oval glasses hanging at the tip of her nose. I bit my lower lip and looked up at her with my pleading brown eyes. I wanted it more than anything in the world and I think she saw that. There was a pause. Then she tilted her head to one side and said, “OK, you can have it. But take care of it.” I smiled so big and held on to that dollhouse book so tight. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. For a whole year after, I spent countless hours playing with it. I would carefully open it all around, tie the strings together to hold it open, and let my imagination take over as I took my dolls inside the different rooms. It wasn’t a wooden Dollhouse, but it was the only Dollhouse I had, and even if it was a few years too late, it made me happy in my last year of childhood.

I think back on how badly I had wanted a Dollhouse and I pray my little girl will be as girly as I was. I will surprise her with the most beautifulest Dollhouse shes ever seen. I will handcraft it myself and adorn every room with as much detail as a real house. It might take me a few years, but I want it to be perfect for her. Im so happy Im having a girl. If she ends up being a Tom-boy Ill just have to keep the dollhouse thing as a hobby and join her in her mud races and tree climbing. (But Im crossing my fingers she’ll be into dolls and tutus haha.)

Men check out pregnant chicks??!

22 Sep

So my fiance has been telling me that men still check out pregnant chicks. Sometimes hes a little jealous (in a cute way though.) He assumes guys are checking me out or trying to talk to me when hes not around. I usually laugh it off and tell him “*grunt* baby pleeeease. Aint nobody checking me out out with this pregnant belly! please. Youre funny.” and he’ll just half close his eyes, pucker his lips and say, “You’d be surprised…Theres alot of men out there who check out pregnant chicks.”

Uh-Huh. Yea right…FAT-CHANCE. Im lucky if I feel that i look ok sometimes, but I definately dont feel sexy or beautiful with this big stomach! “Baby the only way I think guys would still check me out is if i was wearing my tight jeans–which dont fit anymore!!–highheels and my hair down.” (those things usually made me feel sexy but I havent wore my hair down in a while and Id rather wear flats right now.) My fiance just nodded his head and rolled his eyes.  “I know girls in PAJAMAS who still get checked out because they have a pretty face.” I guess hes right, I thought. But I still didnt believe guys would check out a pregnant girl. 

This morning I went grocery shopping with my mom–did I tell you she has a great sense of humor? Oh we can laugh about anything… Mostly because were both pretty ditzy and we laugh at ourselfs. She’ll usually say, “That wouldve been good for a movie scene huh!?” LOL…. we do have our moments.

Anyway I was telling her about my fiances ‘crazy’ theory on guys checking out pregnant girls. “–I mean, mom, if i wasnt pregnant maybe It would be diffrent, but IM PREGNANT. He can rest easy hahaa! No ones gonna check me out!!” I nodded my head, and chuckled a little.

After grocery shopping with my mom, I ran a few errands on my on. Finnally at the end of the day I decided I needed to grab some dinner before heading home. I was so tired though and still felt pretty sick–my nose was stuffy and i felt like i wanted nothing more but to be in bed. Teleported if possible. I took a look in my rear view mirror before getting off my car and thought, UGH, I look hideous. Oh well. Being sick this morning made me not want to do much more than drag myself out of bed and throw a cap on to hide my bed-head. On top of that I was wearing my minnie mouse PJS and my green Ugg-style boots. “Yea I was sure making a fashion statement haha…” I noticed people staring at me at the grocery store but i figured it was because I looked so funky.

I dragged my feet into a restaurant that sells BBQ-everything. Once inside I looked through the one page menu on the front counter. A minute later an older man came up to the register, so I glanced up ready to give him my to-go order. “Ive never been here before–” I started, when he interrupted me. “Are you a Jersey boy?” He asked, catching me off guard. “Your hat says ‘Jersey boy'” He added with a flirtacious glint in his hazel eyes.

“Uh. no. Im definately a girl,” I replied.

“Or maybe you want a jersey boy…” He smiled.

“No thats ok…I got a Chicago boy so im good.”

He chatted with me a little more then went and brought me a plate of food to sample saying he liked having beautiful girls get hooked on his food so they could keep coming back. I smiled, flattered but confused. Did he say Beautiful girls reffering to me?? UH…nooooo. nope. uh-uh. no no. He wasnt talking about me. No way. not possible. 

I tried the samples on the plate and when he came back I was ready to order. As i opened my mouth to speak, he interupted me. “You have such beautiful eyes. I don’t know whats better…your long eye lashes or your eyebrows!” he said. I frowned. He must be crazy I thought.

No wait. LIGHTBULB! he doesnt know im pregnant because of the tall counter covering me! Im sure if he sees my big belly itll be a HUGE turn off, I thought.

and Just then he walked around the counter to the door and I made sure to rub my belly in front of him.

He walked right back to the counter and kept hitting on me.

WHAT?! @_@ how could this be?? I thought.

I placed my order and then looked around as i waited. The restaurant was empty except for me another older man waiting to order. A few minutes later the owner came back out to the front and looking at me he loudly exclaimed, “Isnt she beautiful?!” The older man waiting to order promptly replied, “Oh yes! She looks like a movie star! like she came out of a movie–She looks like J-lo!”

Ok. first there was ONE crazy man…now TWO??!

“OK…you guys are really sweet, but c’mon now.”

“No im not being sweet,” one of them said,”Im hardly ever sweet.”

Puzzled I just went up to the counter to get my food.

“I wonder what you look like when your all dressed up,” the owner said to me, “because right now you look good with just a cap on, but I wouldnt want to see you dressed up. Youd probably give me a heart attack!”

I nodded my head and sighed in confusion. Man…these men must need glasses or something.

“I know you must have a wife or something,” I said to the owner. He admitted he did.

“Well shes a fortunate woman,” I said trying to get him to say something nice about his wife.

“Well she’d be more fortunate if she had your eyes!” he smiled.

I wonder how married men can say things like that…I mean If I was his wife and I heard him say that I would slap his silly head.

Just as i was leaving the owner called out to me, “Whats your name?!”

After telling him my name, he smiled and said, “Alright well, please come back soon!”

Im not coming back again ever, I thought after leaving.

But I laughed as i remembered all the times I rolled my eyes when my fiance told me men still check out pregnant girls. SO maybe he was right…but im not gonna tell him haha.

Still though i find it bizarre. Why men check out pregnant women remains a mystery to me.

Two things I miss from before I was pregnant:

1. I miss having a flat stomach. God that made me feel sexy. Now i look down and see a huge boulder 😦 and it keeps growing!!! I mean how BIG will it get? It really scares me sometimes @_@

2. I miss lying down on my stomach. I cant do that anymore–Ill squish my poor baby! So I lie on my side which isnt as comfortable but hey! Im making a miracle here–some sacrifices have to be made =)

On another note, I start a new job on monday morning–Its a part time office job that my brother got for me today! Since its part time I know I wont be making much money but Im grateful for the job! Its something =) 

I know my fiance said he’ll take care of me, and my brother also tells me that if i need anything at all, all i have to do is ask. (My brother makes good money and tells me he feels good helping me out, but i cant help feeling so uncomfortable asking people for help!) Ive always liked feeling that I can pull my own weight. Of course I would love to stay home once the baby is born and that is what me and my fiance both want, but for now I feel good having a J-O-B.

I got home, made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea, and sipped it while watching “HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.” I love that movie. and currently I love my life.

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