Tag Archives: working mom

Life of A Single Working Mom

5 Jun

I’ll be honest and to the point: I feel neglected.

I work hard to keep my parents happy at home, even if that means taking on some of their responsibilities, or putting what I have to do aside to spend family time with them. I honestly dont feel like I have time to sit down AT ALL with the list of things i have to do. When I do sit down, I feel guilty about it. I long for the day when I wont feel guilty about sitting down to relax. I dont even think I really relax when Im supposed to relax now that I think of it…

Anyway, Ive gotten very little sleep as of lately because Layla has started teething and wakes me up numerous times in the wee hours of the morning. Then I have to get up early for work, even though my body is screaming NO. today my dad asked me to come in earlier since my sister was sick and wouldn’t be at the office. So I had to wake up an hour earlier. that sure felt nice.

Once at work I have to multi task between inputting data in the computer, (with piles of invoices piling up faster and faster) making numerous phone calls and nursing Layla, changing her diapers, giving her attention, as well as snapping some pictures of her adorable moments since they are oh so fleeting.

It sounds nice but the reality is that Im usually really stressed out, playing catch up with my office work, holding layla on my lap, with a phone to my ear, and somehow trying to write something down, while holding the phone between neck and shoulder while Layla is being noisy and throwing a fit.

I work over-time almost every day trying to catch up on my work since Layla takes up so much of my time. At the same time Im torn with the thought of leaving her at home and not seeing her for 8 hours! thats a huge chunk of the day! SO i just suck it up. put my big girl panties on.

I have to ask myself though: when do I get to really breath? I guess not any time soon.

I feel exhausted.

Today I could barely walk from exhaustion. I wish someone noticed.

I wish someone asked, “Oh how do you feel?”

but no one ever asks me. they all immediately go towards Layla to pick her up. Then they say things to her like, “oh poor baby must be soooo tired!” uh-huh. I cant help but roll my eyes a little. I know they’re just being cute talking to her like that but after my long hectic day, it just feels wrong that they dont acknowledge me but quickly run to get my baby and those words pop out.

When everyones getting sick no one asks if I got whats going around. But they ask if Layla is showing any symptoms of the cold. the concern in their voice is without a doubt the most sincere. They love her to death. My 17 year old brother says hes going to buy her a hello kitty power wheels corvette when shes a little older. My sister is itching to buy her all sorts of toys but is holding herself back until she can at least grasp them. My dad said he’ll more than likely buy her an ipad mini or a cell phone if she asks him for one. Its going to be hard to keep her from being a “princess” with my family but I’ll at least try to make her a princess that can kick some ass.

Anyway I love Layla and I love that everyone loves my baby…but I just started noticing that it seems like I dont even exist to anyone anymore. Im just that person that works way too much, sleeps too little, and no one notices.

I guess I kind of wish there was at least ONE person who would put their hand on my shoulder from time to time and say “I know how you feel and I care about you.” Okay maybe I sound really cheezy and weird. ugh.

Sometimes Im scared that Im making all these sacrifices for Layla, to care for her, to be with her, to protect her, to provide for her….and what if she hates me one day? that really upsets me. I’ve never loved anyone more, or cared for anyone more. I guess I feel vulnerable. and it sucks. I dont think I would ever put myself in this position for a guy. but I do it for my baby.

Well Im going to go take a shower. My mom says she’ll watch Layla while I shower. Im sure this shower will feel like the spa treatment of a lifetime with angels singing.

By the way my mom absolutely adored the ring my dad gave her. OF COURSE SHE DID…I helped pick it, and i know exactly what she likes. plus Im a girl. girls know what girls like 😉



My brother David, me and Layla at our family reunion over the weekend.


Taking My Baby To Work!

5 May

I started working for my dad this week. I LOVE taking little Layla with me to work. They’ve nicknamed her the “mini secretary”. But my dad jokingly says hes not going to pay her if she sleeps all day. Dont let that fool you though…even though she does nap alot, I still have to juggle changing her diaper multiple times, cleaning up her spit ups, and her feedings all in between office work. I also get around 6 hours of sleep on average. Its a little hard sometimes but Im just so grateful that I get to take her with me to work so I just try not to think about me.

My sister and little Layla hard at work 😉

My sister was surprised at how quickly I learned how to use their new computer program–So her and my brother decided to make me the new RO writer. Basically Ill be typing out the sales invoice and charging customers on top of my other duties. My sister told me my brother and dad had recently thought of hiring a “hot girl” to be the RO writer so customers wont argue the price. So I guess I should wear my hair down and sexy, wear heels, and use my woman power? at least my boobs are big right now because Im breastfeeding..maybe that’ll help.

My dad has been saying he wants to open a shoe store. I told him I’ll help him with it. Im already researching whole sale shoe vendors, and a business plan to get started. Im so excited. We want to sell shoes, purses, perfumes, and women’s accessories. With my help, I know it’ll be the best damn store ever.

—Changing the subject—-

Something Ive been thinking alot about lately is the fact that my ex has never seen his own daughter. I cant help but want for him to see her so bad. Especially since he kept asking me about her even after she was born. but I feel like if I did that I would be opening pandoras box. What if he wanted some sort of custody? what if he wanted her over night?? What if he started threatening me again to take her from me? I just get so scared thinking of all that. But I hate that he has never seen his own daughter. And its going to be hard when Layla starts asking about her daddy. I honestly still dont know what Ill tell her.

On to other news, my parents came back from their trip and brought back goodies for me and Layla:

her first little purse from her grandpa and grandma.

they bought her a silver spoon lol! oh man. theres no stopping them is there?

I LOVE this little dress they got her. its adorable!!

The earrings my mom and dad got me.

and a bracelet 🙂

The next day after arriving, my mom and uncle got in a car accident. A 24 year old guy crashed into them from behind because he was distracted—he was texting while driving. He was driving at 60 MPH when he hit them from behind.  The impact was really strong, since my mom had completely stopped and was waiting to turn.

My poor uncle suffered some wounds to his arm, and my mom had some neck pain. they were both taken to a hospital to be looked at. something really important to do after a car accident is to start taking joint cartilage building capsules to help your body recover. without them, the body stiffness usually felt after a car accident could develop into more serious complications.

Anyway, I was at work when my mom called me to tell she had just been in an accident and needed to get ahold of my dad. my heart started racing. I quickly let my dad know, and he notified the police, the insurance company and went out to the scene of the accident where my mom and uncle were at. Im so glad shes ok, but moments like that really get you thinking how fragile life is.

At the towing yard getting my belongings out.

The good thing is my mom will get a new car. I hated that mini van. No offense to mini van drivers out there. But my mom needed a new car. She doesn’t even have small children anymore! That mini van has suffered through all my little brothers messes, from a soda can exploding, a bottle of chlorox spilling, dirt, wear and all kinds of other gooey spillings. Sianora mini van! I wont miss you! (I hope my mom gets a cool new car. shes a hot grandma. She should be driving a four door car.)

My mom stopping by the office

Onto this weeks Idol news: As you may know Amber went home. She cried at the end of the show. I know she wanted to win really bad but look at Jennifer Hudson–she was 4th place too, and now she has an Oscar. So theres still hope!! I loved when Ryan Seacrest spotted out baby face in the crowd. My jaw literally dropped. maybe because I listen to his song only every single day! It seriously calms Layla down while I drive. I love it. I could use white noise but listening to actual music is even nicer. and what better than classic 90’s baby face songs?? :]

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I also got my baby girls ears pierced this week! finally! I had been wanting to do that for the past month. She cried for a few seconds, but mostly I think she was just stunned. there were no actual tears and as soon as she heard my voice she stopped crying. Still though, I’ll admit, when I first heard her high pitched cry, I wanted to cry too. It sounds silly but I guess its a parent thing.

Snapshot 2 (5-4-2013 9-47 PM)

all done!

my baby girl is BLING BLINGIN now! **

my little monkey

After I got her ears pierced I picked up some things from Target:

some baby leggings–arent these cute??

soothies pacifiers! she actually liked these! now she can start to self soothe and I dont have to worry that Im over feeding her.

I picked up some picture frames to hang on a narrow wall in my room.

I also got this cool mirror so I can see Layla while Im driving now.

I had this dream last night that I lost her. It was the most awful feeling I’ve ever felt!! my mom kept asking me in my dream “Why’d you leave her out of your sight?!” I kept looking around in panic. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, so I made myself wake up just to make sure she was next to me. (yes, I can make myself wake up when Im having a bad dream.) It was such a relief to wake up and see her sleeping soundly next to me. I cant even begin to explain how much I love her. She makes me smile all the time. being a mom is awesome!

My sister is going to try to get pregnant through IVF. Its going to cost her around $10,000 and they’re going to pick the gender. I really hope it works for her. She wants a baby girl so badly. She has a great relationship with her boyfriend, the kind most people would wish for. all their missing now is their bundle of joy. Its funny because I have my bundle of joy, and Its the greatest thing in the world, but I dont have a love life. So when I hear about her and her boyfriend and all the cute things they do, and how they still feel butterflies even 4 years later, its kind of nostalgic for me. Im happy for her, but I guess I kind of miss being in love. oh well. cant have it all. Im just lucky to have my little Layla.

Im off to bed with my little pumkin. hugs and kisses from Cali! 🙂



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